Memories
by Jessers
Summary: LJ. Lily Hates James or so she thinks and many twists happen changing her life to reveal that she likes him, no not likes him, loves him. Magical mishaps are common in the romantic affairs of Lily and James.
1. Love, Hatred, and Friendship

Listen To Your Heart

Intro: Hatred and more Hate

Lily Evans hated everything about James Potter. Everything. She never wanted to touch

him, look at him, or anything with him. She hated him with all of herself (or so she

thought).

Someday she wanted to kill him and some of the other days she didn't mind him. For some strange reason he had liked her when she was in fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He and his friends were arrogant, boring, or just plain prats (he wasn't boring, he was just arrogant and a prat), they were probably tossers too! It aggravated her to think that he and his friends thought she would ever like him, or that she liked him. What and who gave them that Idea?

Intro Part 2: Love Hate Friendships

Hermione Granger had been friends with Ron Weasley since first year. She didn't have any "female" friends at all. His sister was the only girl she got along with in her house at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Two years ago Ron had given her perfume for Christmas and it was a bit of an odd (musty, horrible smell). She thought it was sweet though and didn't think much of it. Ron and Hermione are always fighting, they hate each other it seems. They nag at each other and make up later on in an I'm sorry I really want to be your friend still way.

****

A/N: Listen To Your Heart is a twisted LJ fanficiton. It is going to deal with a lot of things that life and relationships deal with. It is in seventh year and there are things that happen and are going to happen that are funny, odd, romantic, and not what you would expect.

A/N: It is going to be a bit of a confusing story. Its also a Rhr story. Is going to be very "repetitive" in an uncanny way. AKA Hermione's life is seeming to echo Lily's life in seventh year.

Chapter ONE: In the next chapter it is a hogsmeade trip and Lily is the head girl. Some events happen in hogsmeade that she misses and they really are "disgusting" to her.


	2. Missed Steps and

**Chapter One:** Of missed trips and missed steps

Lily Evans sat in the common room holding her new diary. The binding wasn't cracked or splitting like all of her others and the front had a small lock that was opened by her heart locket when placed open on the lock. The cover had a picture of her it had been taken last year. She was sitting on the swing in her favorite child hood place, her mom's flower garden. In the picture she was wearing a pink gauze dress, she was going to the annual summer party next door, and she looked like a faerie. Her red hair curled and her make-up seemed to make her sparkle.

Lily's quill was poised gently in her hand. It had been like that for five minutes. She had been pouring her heart out onto the first few pages of her diary; it was one of her only friends. She could tell it the whole truth without fearing people finding out. Lily smiled at herself as she read over her entry. She looked out of the window and saw the sun was starting to set over the Scottish horizon and the sky had been dusted with a golden shine of light. The beauty of the sunset caught her for a moment, and she quickly grabbed up her quill and ink and left the common room. She put her things down on her bedside table and grabbed her clothing and a towel and took a quick shower. When she got out she felt better she quickly dried off and pulled on a clean bra and pair of underwear. She stepped into her skirt and buttoned it up. Grabbing her shirt and throwing it on she quickly buttoned it up correctly and pulled on her socks and shoes and threw her robes on.

She put towel away in her room and ran down the steps of the common room to the portrait. She swung it open and stepped outside running down the steps and was careful to miss the fake step. When she managed to get to the great hall everyone was filing into the room for dinner. She walked as quickly as she could in the crowd of people swarming into the room and found an empty spot close to the middle of the table.

"Hey Lil!" The cheery voice of Lily's best friend Laura Rhain came. Laura took a seat across from Lily. Laura seemed extremely happy today, her big icy-aqua blue eyes seemed to shine with extra gleam and happiness today. "Its too bad you missed the trip Lil!" Laura said with a glint in her eyes. She began to twirl a piece of her shiny maple hair.

"Well you know what was up. I had some _stuff_ to do and _people_ to ignore!" Lily said with a smile, Laura's chipper mood had lifted Lily's spirits yet again. Lily took a sip of her sweet and spicy pumpkin juice.

"Lil, I got you this" Laura smiled at her. Laura's eyes shone the joy and happiness of a little girl. It was nice to see, Laura wasn't really ever this happy unless something really good happened to her. Laura handed Lily a package wrapped with shiny gold paper and it had a red bow on the top of it. Lily set it down next to her plate. "Well, open it in the dorm, or the common room either one! It's too crowded in here!" Laura said and began to fidget with her hair.

"Okay" Lily said smiling she looked around, the hall was getting to be in order for dinner and the plates had been teaming with food for a while now.

"Evans" Lily heard the smooth arrogant voice come from behind her. "You seem happy," the person added in a sarcastically happy way. Lily knew the voice far to well; only one person had a voice like that. That one person with that one voice had pestered her for years. The one the only James Potter had always tried to talk to her it was either to get her to laugh, make a joke on her, to taunt her, to tease her, to annoy her, to be friendly (which hardly ever happened), to fight with her, or to eventually ask her out (millions of times). She knew him too well in a non-friend non-girl friend more an enemy that's not an "ENEMY" enemy way. He and his friends just for some reason had wanted to get her and James together. She had no clue why; it was probably just another plot, what ever he was doing.

"Hello Potter" Lily said and rolled her eyes. She had just looked down at her plate and was planning on ignoring him, even if he tried to talk to her. It didn't work; he took a seat next to her (can anyone say hell on earth?). She wouldn't be able to ignore him if he was right there! It would be too hard….

"Beautiful isn't it Evans?" Potter asked and Lily didn't bother to look, she didn't feel like it would be a good idea. It probably was a joke that Potter and his friends were using here in. Another scheme that would fail before it took off the ground. She would never fall for a scheme that would have her fall for him! Never! It might just be something that would hurt her in the long run. "Evans you didn't look! Look across the damn table!" He hissed next to her. She could tell he was mad, probably raving about her ignoring him and not doing as he said. She never did, she never would.

"WHAT?" Lily hissed back at him annoyed she could ream him right now and wouldn't care what the outcome was. She began to lift her head up and saw something that made her heart and everything that was in her stomach seemed to lurch. She couldn't believe her eyes. What she saw could kill anything; it would even kill a damn basilisk. "Oh god I'm gunna' be sick!" Lily said in a gasp as she saw Laura and Sirius kissing and holding hands. "L-Laura! How-err-what happened today when I wasn't on the trip with you? What's going on?" Lily asked as her heart began to pound quickly. She felt all in a knot.

"I felt the same way," Potter said to Lily in a smugly. Lily rolled her eyes at him and avoided looking at Laura and Sirius.

"What kind of sick joke is this?" Lily asked curtly through gritted teeth. She looked over and kept her eyes locked coldly on James's eyes. "Do you always have to be a sick jerk? What is your problem?"

"Its no joke Lils!" Laura said in a smooth voice that kept from wavering. She didn't seem to notice that Lily was disgusted by how and what she was doing with _him_ non-the less. Lily felt worse when she heard this; somehow Laura's usually cool sensitive voice didn't have a calming friendly vibe to it. It disgusted Lily. She needed to escape. _How could she do this? It was just wrong! C'mon Sirius Black! The big womanizer, the biggest womanizer in the whole school! Laura's brain must have friend or something!_ "You would have known if you were on the trip Lils! I-I was going to tell you tonight in the dorm! It happened today, I-it I'll explain it all to you later Lil trust me!" Laura pleaded and gave Lily her big wide-eyed puppy-dog eyes.

Lily gulped she didn't want her best friend dating _that_! How could this happen! Lily shook her head and stood quickly from her seat and walked out to the entrance hall. She began to walk up the stairs thinking to herself and feeling like she could die right there. Her life was taking too many unexpected turns in one day.

"How could _she_?" Lily whispered and gulped down the urge to scream and cry. She was nearly halfway up the stairs and she took a deep breath and tried to pull the image from her mind. She tried to forget what she had seen.

"Evans!" Lily James Potter call after here. They didn't call each other James and Lily; it didn't fit their relationship. She would never call a rival by their first name.

"Potter" Lily said turning to face the black haired hazel eyed seventeen year old bounding up the stairs behind her. Their eyes held for a moment.

"L-Evans you forgot this" he said gently and quietly. _Did she just hear him stammer and almost call her Lily? No she couldn't have, it was just her imagination going frantic again_! He handed Lily the gift Laura had gotten her in a softer way than he usually would, or so it seemed. "I know how you feel," he said before turning to head up the stairs.

"Oh" Lily mumbled in a low whisper. Her eyes glanced at the hem of his robes and back down to the stairs below her. She took a deep breath and began to walk up the stairs again. She fell into sink behind him, two steps behind him. They walked like this for a minute or two only a few minutes apart. It lasted a only a moment but it was a nicer moment than all of the other that she had felt today, it was a quiet and calm moment. There was no annoying taunting and teasing on anyone's half. It only lasted a moment but it would last forever in her mind.

Lily took a step forward and regretted it fully afterwards. James was further ahead of her now, and it scarred her. She was getting scared that she would be like this for a long time. "Oh no!" she cried out quietly. She was sinking down into the step. "James!" Lily called or frantically and loudly. "WAIT!" she yelled up to him.

She was watching him her eyes, or so she thought they were, had become huge with fear. She was wide-eyed with horror. "What?" He said and turning around, she watched him turn around to see her there; she was a girl sinking further and further into a fake step. She heard him laugh quietly before walking down to her. "Here" he said smiling and stepping to the step behind her. He wrapped his arms around her, she could heel his arms around her waist and gasped.

"What's wrong Evans?" James asked with a laugh his hazel eyes, black hair, and his whole face seemed to be press lightly against hers. He was pulling her slowly out of the step. She had sunk down to her hips.

"Potter," Lily said questioningly she felt nervous with him so close to her. She almost felt that it would have been better to have a different person catch her.

"Evans" He said softly and bent down again and pulled her out of the step. For a moment it seemed like their eyes clicked, and not with hate or annoyance with something else something softer. Just for a moment.


	3. Of Gifts, And Hatered

****

A/N: There is going to be a second "edition" to this story. It will be VERY similar to this one, but with different characters. It will be in the "present (ish)" Harry Potter time. It will be a Ron/Hermione fanfic. So please if you like this one, the future one MIGHT be of interest to you.

A/N2: ISH at the ends of words means "sort of" this way. Blondish-means sort of blond but not all the way blond. It goes in any and all of my writings!

****

Chapter Two: Of Dreams, Lies, and Tears

Lily Evans could barley sleep the night after the incident on the stairs. She had woken up millions of times to what she thought were "nightmares". They were nightmares for her, because she felt like she liked them. In each dream that night, a there were five or six of them, she had nearly kiss James Potter, Kissed him, and even made-out with James Potter more then once. It seemed to happen seventeen times one dream, and that was enough for her to loose control of her dream world and force herself to wake up. She looked at her clock when she woke up for the tenth time that night and found it was now 5:09 AM. _Shit its early!_ She thought and rubbed her eyes to wake herself up. There was no way she could sleep now.

Lily opened the curtains and swung her feet over the edge of her bed and searched with her foot for her slippers. When she finally found them she put them on and got out of bed. She walked to her trunk and pulled out her day-clothes, bathroom (shower) kit, and a towel she charmed in third year to dry itself. She walked into the bathroom and let the hot water and the essence of rose and jasmine wake her body, mind, and soul up. It worked well and when she felt awake and clean she dried off and pulled on all of her clean clothing. Making sure she had her quill, ink, and diary with her she began to walk down to the common room after checking that her shoes were clasped well and her robe wouldn't get stuck on any door handles.

When she stepped off of the last stair to the girls dormitory she walked as gracefully as she could in the sleepy morning hours. She walked over to a large over stuffed plush red sofa. The sofa was soft and had been adorned with soft, silken, smooth, golden pillows. It looked like the perfect spot for graduation pictures in gryffindor. She picked up her quill and began to write on a blank page of her diary. She smiled as she read over what she wrote.

__

Dear Diary,

James pulled me out of the fake step last night. Something odd happened though, when he pulled me out, he pulled me from the waist. Not from where I expected him to pull me from. I would have expected him to grab my hand and pull me out, but the scary thing is I think I liked it. ALSO, another scary thing! I said his name, well last name. I think I as about to thank him for helping me or something. All he did was say my name in this weird almost soft way. It was in this way that could mean he still likes me! Or never stopped liking me from fifth year on at all! Yet he did hold my gaze for a moment, he held it until he pulled me out of the hole completely. It was odd.

Laura and Sirius Black are dating. I witnessed a sad, disgusting event the other day. Them kissing yuck (I know little muggle toddler age thing to do but…she's my friend and he's an ass! I mean they already dated and broke up last year!)

LE.

Lily leaned forward and set her quill and diary down. Today there was a quidditch match. She had promised Laura she would go, even though Laura would only be eyeing Sirius and snogging him in the stands. Typical.

"Evans _your_ up early," Potter said walking down the stairs from the boys dormitory. Lily could hear him walking towards her and didn't move, even when he sat down on the chair next to her. Yawning. Lily smile a bit, it was merely a ghost of a smile. She kept her eyes on the hem of fire, but she could feel Potter looking at her.

"I couldn't sleep" she said after a moment faking a yawn. She smiled and felt like she was comfortable right there for a moment. Sitting in a chair next to him it would be better if…_No, NO! Never think that! Lily!_ she scolded her mind and leaned back in the chair curling her legs under her.

"I couldn't sleep" he said to her in a soft-ish way. "I had a weird dream" he said after a moment. The tension in the room was building and Lily could feel the weight. It was like an impending doom, it felt like her chest was being pressed down by weights.

"Oh, really? What happened" Lily asked nicely to see what was wrong, but still it was awkward talking to James Potter in a chummy manor. It didn't feel right. Nothing about him ever did.

"_All_ of this years gryffindor were in my dream" he said smiling. "No one else though really, we were all friends. It felt so weird, I think it was an image of graduation or something because we were all so Happy. And then again there was a picture of all of this years gryffindor together huddled around this chair. You, Laura, Sirius, and I were the people on the chair though. Everyone else was either standing behind his, or kneeling in front of us. We were smiling like a bunch of freaks too." James added with a sigh. "That wasn't the odd part, the odd part was…that _we_ were friends." He said looking over at her in a questioning way. "It felt odd though, it felt off. There was something weird to it…the weird part was probably the fact that there were butterflies floating with fairies around the picture. Also that there were people dancing, I couldn't see the face of the person I was dancing with…all I knew was they were wearing white!" He said to her and Lily felt the tension grow again and again.

"Oh, mine had gryffindor in it too" she said with a shudder. She needed hers to break this feeling of tension quickly. She needed something horribly bad. "Mine had _all_ of the gryffindor I mean _all!_ Even the ones who graduated already. Something killed them, most of them…until only you Sirius Laura and I survived. It was depressing, because in the end, Only I was alive. I was standing in the grave yard crying looking at a grave stone of someone, someone dear to me. I don't know who though," Lily said forcing herself to look scared, confused, and like the dream was real.

Lily felt odd talking to _James_ Potter, it felt unreal. Surreal in a _hell_-dimension way. Lily felt herself wanting, knowing, and feeling like this had to be another hoax. Something to get her to trust him and to make her believe him and feel safe around him. So that he could "pull one" on her. Everything was a joke to him, and she hated it. She hated _him. _It had to be another way to kill and hurt her. Just another day, another way, and anything to get by in a world with James Potter _Satin if you can call it another name.._.

After a half an-hour or so at around 7:00 am. Lily felt the need to break the odd silence that had fallen on the two of them after her dream was told. Her _fake_ dream. Her _real _dream scared the crap out of her, and it probably would have killed him from the shock of it. She would never tell anyone about it, no one except her trusted diary.

"Well" James said quietly breaking the eerie silence and cutting down the building tension. He seemed to be nervous, that was at least the vibe that Lily had gotten from him, or was it what she was feeling she couldn't tell at the moment. It was too confusing _she_ was too confused already to understand her own thoughts and feelings. "Yeah-um" he added unevenly and in a higher voice then usual. It seemed to make him sound scared and her thought was proved. He _was_ nervous. Of what though, _was she that scary_?

"I-I-I'll-Err- I'll see you later" Lily finally spat out after a temporary break for stuttering. Lily could feel herself beginning to blush. _WHAT!!! Why the fuck was she blushing?!_ Lily wondered for a moment before continuing to speak. "Good Luck in the match today" she said smiling and began to stand up. Her legs tingling, tired from being underneath her.

"Yeah, I'll-err-see you later" James said, _wait since when did I start to think of him as James?_. "Yeah, bye I'm-err-I'll be at breakfast now-bye" he added in what seemed an awkward way. He added and stood to leave. When he had left and her legs had begun to circulate blood again she walked a little bit unsteadily towards the girls dorm. Even before she reached the stair case she felt something pushing into the side of her leg. _OWW! What is that sharp thing?_ Lily thought and pulled out the gift from Laura which was still in its box from her pocket. She walked away from the stairs and headed smiling to the great hall. She walked to the great hall and looked around she found Laura and took a seat across from her.

"Hey Lorr!" she said smiling at her. She took a bite of eggs before she realized she had happened to sit right next to James Potter. She smiled at Laura as she opened the box. She pulled a gold locket out of the box. "Lorr its beautiful" she said amazed.

"Waite! That's not what I got you" Laura said confused. "I got you a music box." Laura said confused. "H-how did my gift change forms!? It didn't have any magical description except a dancing ballerina and the songs it played! It never said anything about it changing forms…wait…can I see the box Lily" Laura said her eye brows furrowed in a confused 'what the heck' way. A look she was famous for, well at least with Lily and the gryffindors. "Its not the box!" Laura said shocked with an air of relief. "Wait-how did the whole gift change?" Laura said in yet another confused tone. Lily's fork clanked loudly onto her plate. "What gives Lily? What's wrong?" Laura asked feeling the vibes lily was throwing around like tennis balls.

Lily just glared next to her. "What does it do Potter?" Lily asked accusingly. "What the hell does this thing that I'm holding do?" Lily said through gritted teeth. Lily was glaring at him, and she could tell that he was surprised. She was expecting this much though. He _always_ did this. _Always_.

"What do you Mean?" He asked confused. "Why are you pinning this on me Evans?" He asked trying to make it seem like it wasn't his fault. She knew better.

"_You_ returned this to me. But, _YOU_ switched it before you gave it to me. What does it do? What is the joke it does?" Lily asked accusingly. "What will it make me tell _you how_ I feel about you? Hmm? Well, we all know that _you_ know that." She said harshly. She couldn't care less how he felt at the moment. He was just nothing, he was only slime to her at the moment, no not just at that moment. At every moment, she would never be friends with him. She would never be kind to him. She would always and forever hate James the Prat Potter. "_Where_ is it Potter!" She hissed at him her anger and rage pouring through her mouth like the fake rain beginning to fall down onto them.

"What are _you_ talking about Evans! I didn't change or switch anything on _you_ Evans! What's with all of this sudden anger, you need to ca-"

"Calm down? Hmm, why should I? I know why I shouldn't! I won't calm down because I _hate you_! _You_ ALWAYS do Jokes on me! This is the last of it Potter!" Lily said with a force of hatred that could rip the world in two (luckily it didn't). "If you don't have anything more to say, I'm leaving. Unless you want to spill out the location of Laura's gift I won't talk to you today! Okay Potter?" Lily hissed at him.

"I don't know where it Is Evans! Believe me!" Potter said to her trying to calm her down or something. It wasn't going to work. She wouldn't let it work.

"Yeah right, Me believe you?!" Lily spat at him.

"We're head boy and head girl Evans! We need to at least TRY to get along! We don't want to scare off all the school and make them HATE us!? If you want the whole school to think your insane keep yelling Evans!" Potter said forcefully to her in a tone that was shocking and most unnecessary.

"You _Jerk_! _You_ are the one who always mocks people, and everyone knows that you mock me and use me as a Joke! God Potter! Get a fecking Life! Oh, and you and your friends, keep the bloody fuck away from me. This isn't a warning. it's a threat!" Lily said through gritted teeth. Her eyes pinning him where he was. Or so it seemed.

"Wow, didn't know _you _threatened people Evans. Always thought _you_ were the _no-harm_ type. Well this should be an interesting year." James said in an arrogant tone.

"_You, _you arrogant prat!" Lily snapped at him. "I _HATE YOU_!" She said standing suddenly and slapping him in a forceful way. So hard that the mark seemed it would never fade away. Lily stormed off walking out of the great hall. She ran up the stairs her feet pulling her to the only place she felt safe. To the Library.

"What the? EVANS!" She heard potter mumble while she walked off, and when she began walking up the stairs she heard him call after her. She didn't want to see, speak, or think about him. She wanted to go and learn a way to make someone disappear with out killing them. She wanted to avoid him forever. _FOREVER_!


	4. Of Meetings and Games

Chapter Three: Of Meetings and Games

"James" Lily said coldly as he appeared from beneath his invisibility cloak. He shook out his hair and put his invisibility cloak into his quidditch bag. He smiled awkwardly down at her, his expression showing a 'you found me' hint of mischievousness.

"Lily" he said looking at her sincerely. "When you left the great hall Laura told me what she had gotten you. I-I didn't look in the box, or take it, or anything like that." James said softly to her the words tripping out of his mouth and making him stutter. "I-I dind't take anything out of it either…I-I I'm sorry okay?" He added softly. With each word white puffs of steamy warmth blew from his lips. The warmth of his breath mingled into the cold rainy Scottish day. Lily crossed her arms in front of her, dawning a tough look that would have shocked anyone who didn't know her into thinking she was a permanent jerk. However, it didn't have such effects on people who knew her. They knew her soft side too well everyone knew it.

"Oh," Lily said quietly the cold of the rainy day showing through in her voice. She looked at the ground watching the streams of rain tumble to the lake.

"I-I _did_ have it though," He admitted sitting next to her under the beach tree.

"What?" Lily almost yelled. "First you said you didn't have it now you say that you did! I knew it! I just bloody knew it! I just knew that you had it and were lying to me the whole time! I-I _I'm_, Bye" She said her words flew like the pouring rain. Perpetually tumbling from her mouth with no hope of clearing up. She got up pushing her self off of the ground by shoving herself off of the tree.

"LILY!" James said forcefully and soon she felt him grab her arm. Holding her captive with him. Lily looked down at his hand repulsed but he didn't move his hands off of her. He pulled himself up so that he was towering above her. "I didn't lie" He said softly, his voice felt coarse to her ears. His other hand grabbed her arm and he pulled her round so that she had to see his face, his body, so she had to see him so close to her. "I never would, I-I never would lie! Not to you!" He said softly to her.

"Then how did you have the gift Laura got for me?" Lily asked him her eyes holding his steadily and they pulsed with the fires of love and hate. She took a breath began to speak. "Tell me!" She said quietly but the intensity of her voice could fill a whole stadium. He didn't answer, he just looked at her, "Tell Me," She said louder to him.

"I-I, I found it." He said quietly almost inaudibly. She didn't hear him and tried to make it out. His eyes showed signs of sorrow, of happiness, and of longing? Or was that just her imagination. She asked him what it was that he had said, saying she hadn't heard him because of the rain. "Lily" he said softly it seemed as if he was cherishing the word as if it were chocolate or gold or something of value. "I found it." He added calmly and smiled at her. "Here" he said taking a small box out of his pocket. "This is what she got you," he said taking out a small mahogany box that was shaped like a heart. She looked into the palm of his hand, seeing that he was holding a music box with the letters 'listen to your heart' written in scribed Latin. Her name glistened on the top of the box and a letter hung off of it.

"I-I'm I ended up accusing you of stealing it and yeah, I-I'm sorry" Lily apologized.

"Hey, its okay." James said to her. Letting go of her other hand. Lily didn't want to apologize to him. She wanted to fall back on the safety of hating each other. She wanted to have something that wasn't ever going to happen be a dream. Not a possibility. She wanted a safety net of hate and hurt to keep her away from James and more to keep him away from her. "You don't need to apologize" James added after a moment of almost deadly silence. "You, you look cold. Here" he said handing her his cloak.

"T-Thanks" Her teeth were chattering and she felt numb through and through. However when James placed his cloak over her shoulders she could feel warmth ebbing through her body. Still this warmth didn't put a damper to the chill in her bones.

"James," Lily said looking up to him, straight into his hazel eyes. For a moment she forgot what she was going to say and stood there seeing nothing but him and his eyes. She shook herself from this place quickly and smiled up at him. "Ugh, I wanted to say something to you…" She said and began to fidget with her cloak.

"Yeah" James said and Lily thought for a moment she saw a fire in his eyes. When she looked again though, it was gone.

She smiled up at him and looked down bashfully. "James, Good luck" She said and smiled to him. She looked back up to see him smiling at her, his eyes shone with joy and she couldn't help but surpass a laugh. He looked like a child when they got the present they wanted for Christmas and thought that 'I'll never get it' but low and behold they did. His eyes held the magic and beauty of childhood filled with happiness and love.

"Thanks," He said softly and stuck his hand out to her in a friendly way. "Friends? I-I mean, I'm really sick of being enemies… I mean we should try to get along with our two best friends dating. So friends?" He asked tentatively and his smile broadened as their hands clasped together in a friendly, or so it was supposed to be, handshake. She would never say, but secretly she wanted something more…

The game was wonderful and the rain that had threatened the teams with signs of bad weather had cleared as though a spell had been broken. The sun shone brightly and warmed the wet students until they all were dried off. During the game Lily watched carefully as James played.

"Lily," Laura said to her looking over at her suspiciously. "Is my thought correct, are you…. or do you like James the hunk Potter? The one and only boy who has been swooning over you ever since well…ever?" Laura said with a laugh and Lily could feel the blood rising in her face and she knew she was flushing.

"LAURA" Lily whispered in an accusing tone. "I am friends with him now okay! Friends, just friends and nothing more!" Lily knew though, that Laura did not and would not believe this one bit. She knew Laura would believe that Lily liked James. She knew too, that Laura was right.


	5. Of Rooms, and Boyfriends

Chapter Four: Of the Falling and Boyfriends

"LILY" Laura was at her side. She was calling loudly all was black. The picture began to clear and lily found herself lying on the floor of the entrance hall. She could see fuzzy faces of fellow gryffindors and other students surrounding her. She tried to move, but found it was too hard.

"Back up! Give her some space!" She heard a deep soothing voice coming from near where it sounded Laura was standing. Her vision began to clear again.

"James?" Lily said confused as the fuzzy figure behind Laura came into focus. It was a tall guy in a school uniform and gryffindor robes. She couldn't see the color of his eyes, but the voice reminded her of James in an uncanny way. "Where am I? W-what happened?" Lily asked her vision clearing again so that she could see the people she was talking to.

No one spoke for a moment, until James walked over to her and knelt next to her. "You fell, someone might have hit you, shoved you, or cast a spell on you to make you fall. But anyway, you feel really, and you, ugh, err, you hit your head on the stairs and tumbled down." James said as softly as he could. Lily felt an ache in her head and put her hand on her forehead. Her vision was failing her and she could see four James's all swaying and floating she let out a small grumbling noise and her vision blacked out again.

When she awoke she was lying in white sheets. She was in a room with cold stone walls and there was a lot of white in the room. In the corner there was an old cupboard filled with clean white sheets and in a box next to the cupboard was a small hamper on the floor. Where the sheets were washing themselves inside of it and then drying themselves and hanging up all on the act of magic. She noticed that the window next to her was dark and stars were gleaming outside of the place where she sat in this white room.

"Lily! Your Okay!" She heard Laura say as she ran in at exactly eight o'clock pm, according to the large wall clock opposite Lily's bed. "We were all worrying so much, they are coming to see if you're okay…" Laura ran over to her and gave her a large hug. "Lily I am so sorry! I-I didn't know what was happening! I should have grabbed you, you, looked so scared your eyes. They were so wide in shock! I was scarred! I'm sorry!" Laura said and began to cry next to Lily, her tears cascading and splattering onto the white sheets.

"Laura, its okay." Lily said sitting up and giving her a hug. "I'm fine, I just don't know really what happened. How did I end up here?" Lily asked confused all she could remember now was a feeling as though hands were shoving her down the stairs. She had a fuzzy memory of figures standing around here talking to her.

"Lily, James brought you up. He carried you; he-he was one of the guys first on the scene! He made sure you weren't, weren't really badly hurt. He and Sirius their the ones who were there first. They helped me and you both out, I was crying lily I almost fell out of shock…Sirius caught me though, James was the one who brought you up here. Oh Lily I was so scarred! Lily, I-I don't want anything to ever happen to you…you're my best friend!" Laura added quickly and she put her hand on lily's forehead. Stroking her red hair Lily smiled up at Laura and gave her a hug. She knew deep down that this was all Laura needed at the moment. As soon as their hug broke James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter Pettigrew all walked into the room. They walked over to where Lily was lying on the bed and stood above her looming above her like the figures in her memory.

"Hey Lily" James said walking over he was the first to speak of the whole group. Sirius was now caught up in a long passionate kiss with Laura, which like a five or six year old made her feel disgusted. She looked away and looks instead up at James who was now sitting on the edge of her bed. She smiled up at him genuinely. "Lily, what happened earlier? What do you remember?" He asked carefully looking down at her with softer eyes than she could have ever dreamed of.

Lily told him of how she felt hands on her back, two cold strong hands. Shoving her down the stairs. And how the feeling of those hands, had scarred her more than anything yet. "James, I don't want you to think I'm weak. I-I, they just felt like it was a dead person's hands, or-or a really dark wizard…someone cold!" Lily said and her voice began to crack. "I didn't even see anything, I just felt the hands push me…" she said with a shiver and looked back up into his hazel eyes. His eyes were full of concern at the moment. She looked down and a tear began to fall as she remembered the cold feelings of the time before she woke up on the floor, and even later in the hospital wing.

Lily looked up after explaining everything to James. It had taken half and hour and at this time, everyone had left. Everyone that is, except James. _Why hadn't she noticed that they left?_ After a while Madam Pomfrey an average sized witch in about her 30's walk in. She was bustling around in the boring nurse uniform of Hogwarts. She walked over to Lily and smiled at her. "You can go dear, be careful though. Maybe don't go places alone," Madam Pomfrey said with a chipper tone to her voice.

"Thanks" she said quietly. She sat up and began to get out of the bed. "Hey, James" She said quickly as she stepped off the bed and slipped on her shoes. "Tha-" She began to thank him but he cut her off.

"Its okay, you don't need to thank me" He said quietly and began to walk with her to the door. "It was really scary," He said to her as he walked next to her down the hallway. Lily heard his voice in a new way just then, not an arrogant way, but a concerned and caring way.

Lily looked over at James and glared at him. She didn't know why, but having him tell her not to thank him hurt her. It enraged her. "Potter, you are," she said accusingly stopping in the middle of the corridor. "I was saying thank you because I thought you deserved it! Okay?" She said from behind her teeth. "Maybe you didn't its your fecking choice!" Lily wasn't intimidated by his height. Even though she was 5'6" and he was 6' tall! She wasn't intimidated.

James stopped dead in his tracks as Lily yelled at him. She knew she shocked him; it was a week ago that they had agreed to put aside their differences. She knew though that would never really truly happen. She felt the familiar anger pulsing through her veins.

"Hey-" James began to speak but Lily wouldn't, she couldn't have it right now.

"NO!" She yelled at him, the fires of rage blazing behind her eyes. "I-" but before she could go on, James had pulled her slowly into him. She felt like screaming. She didn't know what was happening, she didn't know why she hadn't rejected this advance.

Her body was pressed up against his strong muscular quidditch body. She could feel his strength, and also something else, but she couldn't see what it was just yet. He pulled her into a long kiss. She began to kiss him back before she stopped herself. "_What_ am _I_ doing?" Lily whispered pulling away. She couldn't muster enough strength to get out of his arms. Nor did she feel like she wanted to. Her mind was in a muddle she was just, confused.

"Lily" He whispered against her cheek. His hands moving one entwined in her hair, the other pressed against the small of her back. Lily didn't respond she simply stared up into his eyes. She was getting lost in the rich green-brown hazel of his eyes. They pulled her in and kept her warm like and they reminded her of the sweet richness of honey. A pressure began to build behind her eyes. She didn't know why, but tears were welling in her eyes. "Lily," James said again, even softer. "Don't cry," he whispered kissing away a tear.

Lily moved her hands from his shoulders and whipped away her tears. "James, I hate you," she said through sobs. "How could you?" She said and began to sob. She didn't understand her emotions right now and the odd feeling of nothingness floated through her.

"Lily?" He said questioningly. "I'm sorry if I offended you, okay." He said and leaned down to give her a hug. "We need to talk," he said grabbing her hand and leading her down a hallway.

"Where are we going?" Lily asked confused as James stopped in front of a blank piece of wall. She looked down at the floor refusing to meet James's eyes. She didn't want to be pulled into them. It was her downfall _they_ were her downfall. When she looked back up there was door in front of her.

"Are you coming or not?" James asked his voice low it seemed to be coming from the back of his throat. Grudgingly Lily followed him into a large room. It was an image of a quant sitting room with a large stone fireplace a lion's head engraved on the mantel. The floor was hard wood. There was a large red rug on the floor with gold details. On the wall above the fireplace there were pictures and there was a small golden love seat in front of the blazing fireplace, it was far enough away to stay warm and fit a small coffee table in front of the love seat. On the coffee table there were books, and photo albums. There was a small record player in the corner on the room. There was a tray with food and drinks on it. Lily looked around taken aback by the beauty of this room. _What was this room?_

"What is this place?" She asked her jaw dropped. She looked slowly over to James and she thought she caught the end of smirk. As soon as she saw it, it disappeared.

"This Mrs. Evans" he said calmly, "is the room of requirements," he said with a smile. "This is a secret room, and if you go looking for it, you will not find it. If your good…I might teach you how to find it," he said with a laugh. Lily could feel a blush rising in her cheeks.

"James what are you playing at?" Lily asked she could feel her heart racing. She watched him carefully studying him and what he was doing. She tried to find a hint as to why _she_ was here. Why _they_ were here? She took a careful step back as James stepped closer to her. She continued stepping away from him, until she felt the cold hard solid feeling of the wall. James was now just an inch away from her; he could easily touch her by moving even a pinky. She blushed as she took the final step up to her so she was effectively pinned against the wall.

"Your beautiful" He said softly leaning in and breathing against her cheek. His hot breathe tickling her skin and leaving a burning sensation that ran through her skin and pulsed through her veins.

"James" She said with a sigh. She was confused and felt an urge to feel what he felt, to see what he saw, to think what he thought. She wanted for a moment to live with him forever. She wanted to be the one by his side as he died, and yet at the same time she knew she could never be that girl. She craned her neck to see into his eyes, and her breath caught as she saw her reflected in his glasses. She gulped quietly and tried not to be surprised of how she looked in her reflection. James brushed her hair out of her face slowly and tentatively began to kiss her on the neck. Lily sighed and looked up at him in a new light that she didn't quiet understand. "James" she said even softer than she imagined ever saying his name.

Right as she was about to start talking and asking him questions he kissed her full on the lips. It wasn't like any kiss Lily had ever experienced. It was soft and passionate and she could feel the longing that he had felt. It was sheer bliss to her. Everywhere his lips touched her the skin burned like small fires placed into her body. As James's hands began to travel over her body she felt an aching that never existed before. Her back stiffened as his hands began to travel up her shirt; he had begun to play with her bra. Lily blushed violently. "James, I can't, I'm sorry! But I just can't." She said forcefully and pushed him off of her. She fixed her top and made sure her bra was completely snapped.

"What is it Evans?" James asked a different fire burning in his eyes. "WHAT?" He snapped loudly. She didn't want to hurt him, but she could never do anything like this with him again. It wasn't right. She didn't want to lead him on and then break his heart at the end of the year.

"James, I-I've-I'm Dating someone…I'm sorry" She said and grabbed her robe which she had thrown off in the heat of the moment. "Look, I've got to go." She said tears welling up in her eyes. She began to start for the door but he got there before her and held it closed.

"You have a boyfriend? Eh? Who is it Evans?" He asked confused. He was staring at her slightly pained expression just barley hidden beneath a mask of manly toughness.

Lily gulped and felt a lump in her throat. She hadn't known that James didn't know this yet. "He's a…someone you don't know" she lied and began to blush.

"Who is it, humor me Evans?" James said strongly pinning her to the floor with his dark gaze.

"Ask your friends James! I-I do not want to tell you, okay! I don't want to tell you, because I'm afraid of what the bloody fuck you would do! Move!" Lily screamed at him her eyes dangerously flashing.

"Fine Evans" He said poignantly He moved from the doorway, but stood near enough so Lily had to squeeze past him. "Evans, before you go" he said softly but she could feel the hurt in her voice. He grabbed her hand softly and looked into her eyes, his expression mottled. He pressed forward and opened the door slightly, but leaned in and kissed her. The kiss was shorter, and less passionate then the past one. It seemed to be a way of James saying good-bye with no words. No words just lips.

Lily ran down the rest of the way to Gryffindor tower. As she stepped into the common room she walked over to the fireplace and sat down next to Laura. "Hey, Laura…can we talk, in private" Lily said an urgency in her voice. She walked into the corner of the room, where no one could hear them and she told her what had happened. She told her everything, and how she had to tell him that she had a boyfriend…that Sirius, Remus, and Peter Pettigrew never told him that she had a boyfriend.

"Never?" Laura said with a hint of distaste on her voice. "I'll be right back," she said and Lily watched from the corner window and saw the portrait hole open. Her breath caught, she feared it would be James. It wasn't James though. She smiled as she saw him walk into the hall. She walked over to the guy standing still under the shadow of the portrait.

"Hey Lil" He said softly kissing her on the lips.

"Hey John" She said softly. She leaned in and kissed him back, and as they stood there innocently kissing, she didn't even notice the door open. Or the boy standing barely inside of the hole his mouth gaping, the only guy on Lily's mind that moment was John Thomas. She knew he would disapprove of what had happened earlier in the room of requirements. She decided to keep things quiet for a while and tell him when the time was right. That night when Lily went to bed she fell asleep thinking of how she would tell John, and she dreamt of what had happened that evening. She dreamt of the way he had kissed her, the way he a touched her, she knew it was wrong but she wanted to be touched like that again. Touched ever so tenderly.


	6. Of Replays and Two J

**A/N: If there are any really strange misspellings I am sorry. My computer is a bit, off with words. It tries to change "herself" to "she" when I'm saying 'lily made herself concentrate…' it tries to change it into 'lily made she concentrate' which…I don't believe would sound really… "Strong" in this story!**

**If you have any comments, please post them (if you think one part needs work, I'll do an edited copy of the story when it is finished completely. That is if any of you, the readers, feel that it needs to be corrected in any way at all!)**

Chapter Five: Of Replays and Two J's

Lily was sitting in the common room. She was waiting for John to come down so that they could go to breakfast together. It was new to her, dating John but she liked it. They had just barely started dating after gryffindors won the last quidditch match. Lily wasn't very outward about the relationship just yet. She was still in the beginning stage of the relationship. She had been hanging around with John a bit but they both were kind of awkward around each other for the beginning part of the relationship. As she sat there waiting for John, she could feel regret bubbling in her. It was almost at boiling point.

She knew from Laura that James had told the gang. Laura had also told her that they liked being called the marauders. Lily had no idea why anyone would want to me called a marauder? Still as she sat in the plush gryffindor red chair, that had come to be her favorite over the years, she thought of what had happened the day before. She thought of how she would tell John and she feared what James would say or do. She knew he was the kind of person who would make fun of her, or more closely tell John when she wasn't looking. To her misfortune John was in the same dorm with all of the Marauders. Sitting there she felt she would surely go insane. The events of the day before and more truly the events that happened in the room of requirements played in her head. It replayed and stopped when she left him in the room. Then like a record with a skip in it, it stopped and started from the beginning. Each time she saw it playing in her minds eye, she felt that her regrets were getting closer to boiling.

Lily snapped herself out of her reverie and made herself concentrate on conjuring a box. She thought the words of the spell in her mind and could feel her head pulsing with all the power she had she made herself concentrate. She concentrated on what she wanted it to look like, but ever so often the night before would slip into her mind and she would have to force it out again. When she heard the sound of something falling slowly and landing on the table she opened her eyes. The image horrified her, she had conjured the worst thing she could ever imagine conjuring. It was a box sure enough, but if you looked into the glossy wood of the lid you would see a faint moving picture of the accounts of the night before. "Crap" she mumbled and banished it, hoping to never see it again and hoping that she would do well in transfigurations and charms that day. She did not want any more mishaps like this to happen, and especially in classes that she had with James and more importantly John.

She leaned back and watched the staircase to the boy's dormitory. She smiled as she saw John stepping out of the dark winding staircase. "Hey John!" She said walking over and kissing him full on the lips. She hopped that James had not told him about the day before or talked about it in his sleep. If he had done this, she would feel such regrets and even more she would feel the sadness and darkness of being alone. She knew that John was the jealous type. He had told her when they had first started dating, she didn't even notice, but he had noticed. James had been staring at her in potions class and John had told her that it unnerved him that he could do such a thing, and she would not tell him off for it.

"C'mon, lets head down to breakfast" he said in a smooth way. She knew he never meant to control her in any way at all. It still happened sometimes, but she knew he said things in a way some people would think of as controlling. She knew he was asking her, he would never tell her what to do.

They walked down to breakfast hand-in-hand. He was smiling at her, and on the way down every once in a while he would slip into their conversation about charms homework how beautiful he thought she was. He would tell her that he thought that she would get Outstanding on her newt levels no matter what happened during the examination.

"John" she said in a cute but irritated tone. She tried to tell him with her eyes to not complement her so much. She would never tell him that she was even shyer than he would expect. Still, she was. They made their way to the gryffindor table and John picked a spot near Laura so that Lily could sit and talk to her best friend. He knew they were best friends. Everyone in the whole school knew. To Lily's misfortune James and all of the Marauders were already sitting there. Lily could swear she saw a smirk slide across James's face when she took a seat next to Laura.

Lily smiled half to be nice, and half because she was nervous because of the night before. "How are you all doing" Lily asked to be kind. As soon as she said it, she wished it had never come out. When she said it, James looked at Sirius who looked at Remus, who looked at Peter. It was odd, and unfortunately Lily knew what they were about to get at.

"Well," Laura said quickly. Lily sighed quietly from relief. She felt now that she would have died if anyone else had spoken first. She was quite sure everyone else knew this too. "Lily, I want to talk to you later on this afternoon." Lily could feel the urgency in her tone and knew it would be very important.

"Oh Lily, Lily, Lily" James said with an heir of haughty conceited way. His eyes flashing a dangerous way, and in that moment, Lily knew he was planning on telling John. Her heart raced, she needed to think of something to do. Something that would make him not tell John. Nothing was coming to mind; she felt a slow sinking feeling in her stomach. It felt as though she was stuck in a maze and getting deeper, and she didn't know how to get out. His eyes flashed dangerously and she noticed Sirius was begging to mouth something to her.

"How did you like the room of requirements?" Sirius mouthed a sly smile creeping across his face. Lily felt as though she was in the heart of the maze. She had found no way to get through the Maze of that morning. Not just yet that is.

"Pad foot, Dear old pal," James began. The same dangerous glint in his eye was now blazing stronger than before. Lily felt her heart begin to sink; she knew he would be her demise. He liked her she knew know. She had thought naively that he had gotten over her that year. She had thought that he had offered to be her friend, just to be her friend. It wasn't that at all. "You do know, I'd say that she loved it." James added. Lily's heart sank even more. She knew what would come next. She knew that he would tell John what had happened if she didn't act fast.

Lily gave James a warning glare. She was attempting to telepathically tell him to shut up. When it didn't work and only made him laugh and give her a slight headache. She resorted on using plan B. Lily pulled her leg back slowly so that no one would notice that it was her indeed who was doing this. She released her foot in an even swoop. She felt the gratifying thunk as her foot made contact with James's Leg. She didn't even notice that she had not hit him where she had been meaning to hit him.

"BLOODY HELL!" James yelled loudly. His eyes narrowed slightly on Lily and she knew he assumed it was her. "What was that for?" James asked yelled opening his eyes wider and wider with pain. "Who kicked me?" He asked but Lily knew that he had settled on it being her. She had kicked him last year in potions class one day. It wasn't her fault that she had bad aim.

Lily didn't look at James the rest of the breakfast. She knew that he was staring at her. She could feel his eyes boring into her. She needed to get out of there; there was a tension building that was growing stronger by the second. It could have been just in her mind, but she felt it was too strong to just be her own doing. She finished her breakfast and said good-bye to John and Laura, she kissed John goodbye and walked to the Library. She had a study period during first period.

Lily walked to a table by a large window. The sun streamed through the window making the table warm and a lot warmer than the rest of the school. Lily took her charms book out of her pocket and began to read how to make an ordinary mirror be a magic mirror. She was deeply immersed in the book that she didn't even hear or notice anyone sit down across from her, or sitting down across from her. She was in mid sentence when her book closed. She looked up to see James sitting across from her. His hand on the book holding it closed.

"Evans. What was that for? Hmm?" James asked taking her book and putting it next to him.

"What was _what_ for Potter?" Lily asked sternly. Trying to take her book back from him.

"You know Lily, I know really. It was you who kicked me earlier. I saw you lean in" he said in a playful tone.

"Potter, not _now_!" Lily whispered at him. "Potter, give me my book." Lily said in a controlling tone. Her eyes flashing dangerously at him when he didn't move to give her book back she leaned in to grab it. He moved the book out of her reach and levitated it into the air, just above her reach. It seemed he did this so she would have to jump like a dog to get the book. She wouldn't do it. It was his fault in fact that the book was in mid air in the first place. She felt that it was his job to give her the book back. "Potter!" Lily hissed at him, and all he did was laugh.

He leaned in; Lily noticed that his arms were under the table on his lap. She felt a pulling sensation and saw her chair was being pulled up against the table. She wasn't able to move anymore. He had gotten her stuck in front of her. "Evans, I'm not going to give you your book back. That is, not until you apologize." He said and leaned in. Lily knew that there would be a catch, but she didn't know what it would be at the moment. She was stuck. She felt a slight pressure as a minute passed from him asking her to apologize to him. She felt her face begin to redden and knew she was blushing.

"Please" Lily pleaded a blush creeping up her cheeks and getting deeper as it went. He shook his head like a child being told to do something it never wanted to do. He was acting immature, lily noted and tried not to act annoyed. Even though, it was hard not to act the way she was. Lily felt his hand slip higher up her leg with every minute that she dind't apologize. After a few minutes he was near her mid-thigh. She felt his had slipped higher. Finally she thought it had gone. It hadn't, he was moving his hand very slowly, creeping up her leg. She felt it again after a few moments and took in a sharp breath. He had been almost to her knickers when she had realized he had not left and ignored her like she had pleased.

She tried to move away, but she was glued to the spot. "Potter! Stop okay! If you do this, than I'll never give you an apology in your entire life. And, I will never talk to you again in my whole life, and your whole life!" Lily hissed knowing that this would stop him. He seemed to stop, and then Lily gasped. She saw John was in the Library. He hadn't seen them yet, but she knew that he would see them sure enough. He would see them and be jealous and think more of what ever James had done. Even if they had been innocently studying. "JAMES" Lily hissed. "John is coming cut it out!" Lily hissed harshly and James stopped immediately. She knew he didn't want her to be hurt for what he was doing. She also knew that if anything ever happened, John would tell his future children about what had happened. He would tell them to be careful around the Potter children. She felt her heart race, she knew that John wanted children, but she didn't know was if it was with her that he wanted them. It wasn't even halfway through first quarter of the school year.

"And Potter," Lily added threateningly. "If you touch my things, or me again. And your dead" at that moment John walked over and sat next to her.

"What's wrong?" John asked putting an arm lazily over her shoulder. Lily could tell without looking, that John as scoping James out. It was hard to deal with all the hatred John and James shared for each other. It seemed the James had only begun to hate James this year. Lily felt that this was the reason that John was kicked off of the Quidditch team. She knew that John hadn't liked James for a long time. She knew this because he had often told her when they were on a walk during on of their breaks. Even though they were holding hands and snuggling together. He would slip in that Potter liked her, and that he didn't trust Potter. It was getting rather annoying. Every time Lily heard John say something about James she felt like smashing and breaking something afterwards. He said this kind of thing often too. It seemed that every conversation held a part of how James was obsessed with Lily. John wasn't in her Potions class and she knew, that if he had been. He would know that the Potions Professor also liked Lily.

"Nothings wrong John" Lily said her voice harsher than it meant to be. "I-I Just can't seem to find my Charms book" Lily said glaring over at James who was now slipping the book into his bag. Lily knew he would steal it one day. She just never thought it would be when she was right in front of him. She knew he was setting her up. She knew that he was making sure that she would apologize to him, talk to him, or even see him again. It felt wrong to Lily and she knew her parents wouldn't approve of this one bit. How could she be so careless and let this happen?


	7. Of Dreams and Breakdowns

Chapter Six: Of Dreams and Break downs

Lily walked to where James was standing in front of the charms classroom. "Potter" she said coolly looking him in the eyes. "I need my book" Lily said sticking out her hand she didn't expect that he would give it to her. She knew she would be made to beg, plead, or fight for it. It wasn't fun. Just the year before he had stolen her Potions Ladle. Luckily Professor Slughorn had seen him sniping it and had made him give it back. Still, she knew the way he was. She knew people like him.

"What do you say Evans?" James said faking a tired voice. He was in a playful mood. She could tell from his eyes. He didn't want to give it back.

"What do I say?" Evans asked out loud thinking. "Do you want me to apologize for something I didn't do?" Lily lied.

"Lily I Know it was you who kicked me!" James said and she could tell he wanted it to be her more than anyone else. She knew if it were anyone else they would be in pain. Grave pain. "If you didn't Evans, than who did?" James asked coolly.

"Potter, I shouldn't say." Lily said about to pull out her wand to threaten him to give it back to her.

"Who Evans" James asked grabbing her wand from her hand. He smirked pocketing it. He was trying to be a pain and Lily could tell. She didn't like this side of James, or really any side at that matter.

"It was John! Now give me my book and my Wand!" Lily hissed. She saw how his expressions change from playful to utter loathing. She knew he dind't like John and knew she had fed fuel to the fire of this hate. James shoved her book and wand into her hands and stormed off. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know what to say. She was scared now of what would happen what would become.

Lily walked in and sat in the classroom. She had five minutes before anyone else would show up. Yet she always went to classes early if she could. She hated being late; she never wanted to have points off. She didn't want anything to happen to John, but she feared what he would say, what he would ask if she told him James was after him. She thought it best not to do anything. Even though her whole self told her to tell him something.

Later that day after classes Lily was sitting in the common room. Hugging her knees the way she did when she was younger. She needed the comfort of being held close to her chest and closed off. She didn't mind what people would think, head girl sitting with her knees clutched. She leaned her head on her knees and sat like that for a while. It seemed like an hour had passed when Laura sat next to her and asked what was wrong. She knew Laura would ask this. Laura knew her, she knew her better then anyone else and Lily liked that. They were best friends.

Lily told Laura what had happened and Laura simply laughed. She told her she understood John was the first person to come to her mind. She said she was glad that she hadn't given her name off to James. Laura said that the most James would do was kick John off of the Quidditch team. Lily felt a pang in her heart as she remembered that John was one of the key members. John was the seeker, and she feared that they wouldn't find anyone to replace him in time. She knew that James would do something harsh, but she dind't know how harsh he would go.

"Laura" Lily said almost whispering. She felt the tears welling in her eyes. "Do you think it's _my_ fault that John might be kicked off the team?" Lily asked tentatively. She didn't want to cause John such a trouble. His other love was Quidditch and before they got together it was his greatest love.

Laura shook her head but even though Laura had said no, Lily felt that yes was the correct answer. She smiled at Laura and whipped away the tears that had begun to fall. "How good of a girl friend am I if I say my boyfriend did something that I did?" Lily asked quietly and Laura laughed. Lily sighed as she was given a hug and received it with gratitude. She needed comforting and Laura knew this about Lily.

"I'm not going to go down to dinner," Lily said softly to Laura. "I'm not hungry" she smiled and sat in the common room as everyone left for dinner. She knew it looked weird to not accept Hogwarts dinners. Their dinners were great usually. She just didn't feel like eating at all right now.

Lily sat down in a large now empty chair next to the fireplace. She let the warmth waft over to her the sound of the cracking fire soothed her mind and she feel asleep. When she woke up she saw the hall was teaming with people again. She was still sitting in the chair but felt someone, or something up against her. Looking down at her knee where the pressure was she saw a small black kitten. She had seen it around the common rooms the past few months, but this was the first time she had been this close to it.

Lily shifted and stroked the neck of the small cat. It was a dark midnight black and had sparkling green eyes. It purred slightly and moved closer to her as she rubbed under its chin. She smiled and whispered "good kitty".

"Midnight" Lily heard a voice behind her and froze. She knew the voice. She knew the voice too well. She turned her neck to see James behind her looking down at the cat in shock. "How did you?" he dropped off looking from Lily to the Cat astonished. "That cat hates people, you must be really lucky. It scratches everyone who tries to pet it…" James smiled and Lily knew he was thinking that maybe it was a sign. Lily didn't like the thought one bit.

"Oh Hi" she said waking herself up. She smiled in a tired way and continued gazing down at the small ball of fur on her leg. She noticed a small half moon in the crest of its head and saw the small paws. Small animals and creatures had always fascinated her. She had always loved going to the zoo. She hated the fact that the animals were in cages though. Before she had found out that she was a witch she had thought of running a pet store, or being a veterinarian. Anything that had to do with animals would suit her. However now after being immersed in the magical world for seven years and taking care of magical creatures. She knew that being an animal vet for magical creatures would be far more dangerous than any muggle career she could think of.

Lily moved the cat off of her foot and sat up. She saw James flinch as she touched it. It seemed he was ready to dive and catch the cat if it tried to attack her. However, she was lucky. It didn't attack her at all. "Lily" James said finally after standing behind her for a while. He walked around and sat next to her looking up into the fire. They sat like that for a while, both sitting up straight staring into the fire.

"Bye James" Lily said after a while and went to her dorm. She sat in bed for a while not able to fall asleep. She couldn't help thinking of the days past and the days to come. She wanted to know what would happen. She sighed and looked at her fingernails and lay back straight against her mattress. She drifted off to sleep after a while of thinking.

Her dreams came to her in confusing mazes of symbols sounds and anything really. She saw herself sitting in a field wearing a green cloak. A horse whinnied in the distance and she heard hoof beats. She saw two men on horseback coming out of the shadows. One wearing a billowing midnight black cloak and the other an intricate red and gold cloak. As the riders came closer she noticed the one in red and gold had dark lush messy black hair, and the one in the black had shiny sandy blond hair.

She watched as the riders dismounted and realized she knew them both. "NO" she yelled in her sleep as one yelled crucius at the other. The rider in red slumped forward and screamed in pain. Lily was running over to him and felt her heart racing. "No, don't! Please don't kill him! He didn't do anything to you!" Lily was tossing and turning. It wasn't until she felt real pressure on her that she awoke. She was tangled in her sheets her curtains open. Light just coming over the horizon. She saw Laura sitting on her bed beside her.

"Lily, you had a bad dream. You were yelling 'no!' and telling someone not to kill someone. What were you dreaming of?" Laura asked genuinely concerned. She was one of the people who believed in dream symbolism. She had many books on it and had studied it in depth. She was Professor Martha Bucket's favorite student.

"I don't remember" Lily said faintly trying to remember the dream. Every moment she thought about remembering it, it disappeared further and a mist covered more and more of it. In the end, all she remembered was there were horseback riders and she was in it watching.

Lily looked at her clock and saw it was only five am. She took a shower and washed away the remains of the dream. She got ready and grabbed her things running down the stairs. She needed to clear her mind and there was one way she knew would work no matter what. Lily walked down the stairs to the common room and out of the door. She didn't mind it being so early, the earlier the better in her mind. She walked to the entrance hall and opened the large doors. She stepped outside into the cold rainy October air. The grass was wet from a slight rain they had the night before. Lily placed her bad on a rock and began to run. She let her feet pound all of the confusion out of her mind. She let everything go and just flew over the ground. After a few moments of running she leaned against a rock and put her head back upon it. Tears were now falling down her face and she knew it was fine. She needed this; it was her time right now, no one else's.

She remembered how John had looked at James the other day and how James had acted when she told him that John had kicked him. She knew that they hated each other, yet she always added fuel to the fire. She didn't know why, sometimes she dind't even know how. She let go for a moment remembering everything that had happened and she knew she needed to get out of this mess. She knew she needed to tell John what had happened. She knew it was the right thing to do.


	8. Regretless Requirements

A/N: I can't go into detail about what happens really….which is sad so, so sad…it's the most fun part!

Chapter Seven: Regretless Requirements

Lily walked in from her run. Rain streaming down her face. Her wet hair clung to the side of her face and she swiped it away in attempt to make herself look more presentable. She walked into the great hall. It was now half-past seven and she had been outside for ages. She sat down in the middle of the table where the seventh years all sat and began to pick at her eggs. She still had a foreboding feeling that had come forth ever since her dream. She felt now that if she told John today, that there would be hell to pay.

Lily sat there in the great hall sitting and talking with Laura. She smiled and laughed at her Jokes and didn't disappear as soon as James came down to breakfast. Lily looked around suddenly; she just realized that John wasn't there. Where was he? What had happened? She thought and began to fear what may have happened.

In transfigurations class they were focusing on doing human transfigurations. They had to change their hair color, style, or another obvious change. Lily focused on the spell and looked into the mirror in her hand. Looking down she realized she had made her hair curl slightly. People weren't shocked; she was better than most in this class.

After class she was walking around the corridors and meandered upon the seventh floor corridor. She walked past the wall where the room of requirements had been and saw the door was open. She felt like snooping and seeing what it looked like in there and opened the door and stepped inside. She didn't see anything when she walked in. There was no one inside. The room resembled her family Living Room. Pictures hung on the walls and there were fake windows on the walls. The windows showed scene's of what was happening in Surry. She smiled as she saw the day was bright and not at all gloomy. There were light clouds in the sky. She looked around and saw the light wood floorboards were clean as they usually were, the fire was lit and crackling with a passion.

Her mother's old chair light blue plush chair was sitting in the corner, next to it was a larger plush over-stuffed sofa. She could smell all the smells of her home and she longed to see her family again. She saw all the pictures on the mantle piece and hanging on the walls. There were pictures of her blond haired sister Petunia Evans and herself. There were pictures from school and pictures from vacations. Seven of the pictures of Lily were of departing for the train. The pictures from the train were all small square Polaroid's. Lily smiled and sat down in the chair, letting the feeling of home sink in.

"I miss you mom" she whispered and touched a small picture on the side table. It was a picture of her mother when Lily and Petunia were just toddler. Her mother Elizabeth Evans long wavy red hair reached her mid-shoulders. Lily saw her gentle blue eyes were not as startling as her father's green eyes. Her father Jonathan Evans's green eyes were strong against his blond hair. Lily had gotten her eyes from her father and her hair from her mother. She was a mix of both of them. "I miss you dad," she whispered too, touching the spot where her father's picture sat.

Lily sat there for a while. She had a study break and then it went to lunch. She sighed relaxing in the large room. It reminded her of family and she knew how much she cherished the home and love. Lily left the room knowing she might never get it open again. She didn't mind.

A few days passed and nothing happened between Lily and James. Lily hadn't seen John in a day or so and was becoming annoyed. When she ran into him in the hall she grabbed his arm and pulled him into an empty classroom.

"John, _WHERE_ Have you been?" Lily snapped at him and pushed him away as he tried to kiss her. He looked taken aback and blinked at her.

"Lily, I was here at school. I told you, I was. Lily, I was in the library!" John said and Lily could tell he wasn't telling the truth. She just shook her head in disbelief and walked away. She didn't want to have to deal with John or anyone at the moment. She needed to escape.

"LILY" she heard John calling after her but she ran from the common room. She needed to get out to leave the room. It was too cold for her. She walked for a while and found herself walking into the Room of Requirements. When she stepped into the room she blinked seeing the room changed into a study room. There was a table and there still was a fireplace, there were snacks, and a shabby piece of parchment lying on the table. Lily walked over and saw it was just blank. She ran a finger over the parchment she felt there was more to it. When her finger grazed over the edge words appeared.

In messy hand writing that she recognized somehow, the words _Mr.'s Moony, Padfoot, Worm tail, and Prongs…Say Hello to Mrs. Evans, and Mr. Prong's ads that Mrs. Evans has beautiful eyes._ Lily blushed as she saw this. She had heard those names; those nick names all the time in class. She forgot who they were.

"Evans" James's voice came from behind her. "You returned? I didn't believe that you would return to the Room of Requirements." Lily turned and saw no one behind her.

"Wh-sh-show yourself!" Lily whispered barely audible. She moved her hand in front of her. Not so far in front, barely even two inches in front of her and felt something solid. Still, nothing was there. Nothing she could see. She gasped as she felt the solid body in front of her. She saw in front of her how the air began to wrinkle, _Wait…air couldn't wrinkle?_ She thought and gasped. She saw it wrinkle more and more, and then she saw it wasn't even the scenery. In front of her, was James Potter? Standing beneath a cloak. "Y-you have an-err invisibility cloak?" Lily gasped looking at the fabric in his arms.

"Yeah," James said with a smile. "Do you want a go with it?" James asked smiling at her. She knew it would be a first time moment, a once in a lifetime event. Using an invincibility cloak. She nodded slowly, and James moved the cloak over her. She smiled at him but he couldn't see. He kept his hand on her shoulder so he would know where she was. He didn't want his cloak to be jacked.

Lily closed her eyes and just loved the fact that no one could see her. She was free to be herself. She felt liberated. She was happy for the first time in the month. She felt a slight draft and opened her eyes to see James was now beneath the cloak with her. He was smiling at her. "Lily, you do know…I had to do it" James said in a calm way. His face didn't seem strained at all.

"Had to do what?" Lily asked confused and didn't understand what he was getting at.

"Nothing" He said a playful twinkle in his eyes. Lily didn't even notice how he was looking down at her. His eyes soft, and in such a way that would make any girls heart melt.

"What was it Potter?" Lily asked getting annoyed and looking straight at his chest. She felt his hand move to her lower back and him squeeze closer to her. "What did you do Potter?" Lily asked nervous.

"Its nothing" James said and she saw the glint in his eye. She didn't think anything of it. For a moment she thought she saw him glaring at the wall, but his gaze softened too quickly to tell.

"POTTER" Lily hissed quietly. She wanted to know. Her curiosity was getting the best of her.

James just laughed and his hand settled on her lower back. "I was joking Evans…I just think you look…cute when you're mad, and curious." James laughed. "Your eyes turn into a green fire with your emotions…." His voice drained off, and Lily dind't hear the words but just felt the humming of his voice in her ears. She was eating it up like chocolate.

They both leaned in and Lily moved her head. She wanted to see his eyes. She couldn't tell him, but she had a soft spot for his eyes. They were so breath taking to her. As she leaned her head up to see his eyes he moved his head down to look at her. Or so she assumed he was doing. The moment seemed to go in slow motion. They heads moving closer and closer. Their lips grazing slightly, then the pull and hunger for more ached through her. She leaned up on her tiptoes and kissed James again. She felt it was the right thing to do, or just what she wanted to do. They innocently kissed for a moment under the cloak.

It seemed like forever, her stomach was fluttering like a million butterflies were released into the pit of her stomach. She felt James's hand move up into her hair and he pulled her closer to him. She didn't resist, she wouldn't resist, and she couldn't. She gasped quietly as he began to kiss her on the neck. John had never kissed her like this. She knew it was wrong, but she dind't care. They made out under the cloak for a while until it slipped off and they stood in the middle of the empty room making out. It was thrilling for her.

"Why do we do this James?" Lily asked after he stopped kissing her. She was looking up at him confused. She needed answers, and she had none to give.

"I don't know Lily" He replied and picked up his cloak. He put the cloak in his pocket and smiled at her. "Like the hair Lily, its good on you" he smiled and Lily saw in a small old mirror that she had horrible hair. She had make out hair.

She looked down at her watch and gasped. It was after curfew. "Potter! It's after hours! If were caught, we'd be revoked of Head girl Head boy titles!" Lily squealed. She looked up at him nervously. He picked up the parchment from the table and hid it in his pocket. He grabbed his cloak and walked to the door.

"You coming Evans?" He asked holding the cloak out so she could get into it and walk down to the common rooms. She walked with him in the cloak and it took quite a while. They had to stop and make no sounds and every so often she would feel his hand snaking up her back, or he would plant a kiss on the nape of her neck. She had to stifle a moan and sometimes a giggle when he did this.

When they made their way into the common room he led her to the stairs and held her there for a moment. "Bye" He whispered and kissed her passionately on the lips. The kiss filled with all the confusion Lily had felt in the past few weeks ever since they had first kissed. "Bye" she mouthed back and snaked her way out of the cloak and up the stairs to her dorm.

"Laura" Lily said desperately needed to talk. She saw Laura sitting on her bed a look of 'where were you'…Lily blushed and sat next to Laura. "Ugh, it happened again" Lily said nervously picking at a nail. "This time he let me use his invisibility cloak. He, snuck in…and…and…we made out under it, until it fell off…and then off of it…and Laura, what do I do? I have a boyfriend, and I like him…I do, but I think I also like James! What do I do?" Lily asked her eyes bulging with pressures of her life.

"Lily" Laura said with a smile and put her hand on her shoulder. "You should do what your heart tells you to do." Laura said with a smile. "Good night" Laura said and Lily walked to her bed and fell asleep.

"What's going on? What's going to happen…" lily asked herself and ran her hands frantically through her hair. The next day after wards there was no regret or anger for what had happened. Lily had noticed that she and James were able to talk in public now. Even though she wanted to pull him off to the room of requirements and kiss him. She didn't care what anyone really thought for a while, but she knew it would be wrong. With John still they're in the picture.

At lunch Lily summoned an average ham and cheese sandwich and ate it walking up the halls. She was walking and then felt an invisible pressure on her back. She knew it was James directing her somewhere. He moved her and led her to the room. As the door closed with a thud. He threw off his invisibility cloak. Lily turned around and they were face to face. James kissed her softly on the neck. His kissing traveling and setting small fires to her skin wherever he touched her, her skin burned…she had yearned to be touched like this again. It was happening now. Lily kissed him passionately, not caring what would happen, or who could walk in. For that moment she dind't care about John, she didn't mind one bit about what he thought, did, or how he acted.

James's hand traveled up and down her back leaving her wanting to be touched more and more. He placed traveling kisses up and down her neck. Soon his hands found the small of her back and one hand traveled up her back underneath her shirt. She felt him fumbling with her bra but dind't stop him. She looked up into his eyes a yearning playing strongly on the surface of her glossy eyes. They made out like this for a while, leaning against the wall until passion took over all reason. Lily threw caution to the wind and they ended up waking up the next morning in each other's arms. Lying in the room of requirements on a large bed that had appeared.


	9. From good to bad

Chapter Eight: From good to Bad

"Are you serious? When? How, and…oh my god with…" Laura stammered as Lily told her what had happened the following week in Charms Class. Professor Flitwick didn't even notice that they were talking. Perhaps he didn't mind seeing they had finished their work in the first half hour of class. "Lily, this is big news," Laura said with a laugh. "Your all grown up" she said jokingly. "I'm jealous, you…when you were dating someone else! Its so, not like you Lily, your like…the most well behaved girl in this school and then last week. God, that's a record that can never be broken little missy!" Laura laughed loudly and pocked Lily in the stomach. Causing her to jump up from her seat and wriggle away. Lily was the ticklish type.

"Laura, cut it okay! We don't want the whole class to know…and John doesn't even know!" Lily whispered and she felt her new self-emerging and being created as the days went by. Ever since that day she had changed to being a more reckless girl. "I'm still the same me in here, just with a little modifications…you know…" Lily giggled and charmed a normal muggle picture to move around and talk.

"Hey Lil, What's going on? You seem all giddy lately…" John said walking over to her. He placed a firm hand on her shoulder and Lily wriggled away. "Lily what's wrong? Are you still mad at me for not going to dinner with you last week, when I was studying…" John asked carefully.

"Not now John" Lily said forcefully and smiled in what was meant to be a sympathetic way. However it came off much colder than she meant it to be.

"Okay" John said backing off and walking back to his seat.

"Laura," Lily said solemnly. "I'm getting really easily irked by him right now…I don't know why…It's just, everything he does…he can't do it right. You know? He's just so…boring" Lily said quietly to Laura. She saw Laura looked shocked.

"Lily, you should…I don't know what you should do okay? He's…he really likes you, and-why did you kiss him in the room if…if you don't like him?" Laura asked confused and suddenly it hit her.

"Laura, I'm not talking about _Him,_ I'm talking about John!" Lily said with a laugh and looked over her shoulder at where James and Sirius were working. They still hadn't managed to make their pictures work correctly. She sighed and looked forward again, "I think _he's_ grown on me…"

That night Lily went down to dinner, she had been summoning food and eating it alone for quite a while. She was cramming all her work and making sure to study for her NEWTs. She didn't want to fail, but people kept saying she'd never fail. She walked down and sat next to James for the first time since the first year feast. On the first day she sat next to him, and he had pulled on her two braids. Lily didn't understand then that he had liked her. However now, it was written everywhere and she could read it so easily.

"Hey James!" She said smiling sitting down next to him. "Did you get the picture to move yet?" She asked looking over at him with a playful expression dancing in her eyes. She knew she could help him with the spell, it was a simple spell but you had to cast it the right way…or else it could end very sloppily.

"No" he replied not looking up at her. Lily could feel he wasn't in a good mood and it scarred her. She didn't know what was wrong. She didn't understand James Potter.

"Oh, well…if you want I could help" she said carefully and took a sip of her Pumpkin juice. He didn't respond and Lily sent Laura a pleading expression. She needed to know what was wrong. She needed to know if it was something that she had done. She finished her dinner quickly and smiles at everyone. "Well, I'm off…have fun" she said quietly and left. She didn't want to be sitting next to someone who talked less than an un-charmed rock. Lily walked up the stairs and not halfway up tears began to fall from her eyes. She didn't get him. She needed to get out.

Lily turned around and went outside. She walked down to the lake, which shone with a light of its own. She sat on a rock that she had always sat on when she needed time for herself. She sat there starring out into the deep depths of the lake; it's dark surface gleaming with an iridescent blue light. After a little while the tears ceased to come. The sky was a rich color of light blue, dark blue, purple, and all the colors of early evening. "Why does this happen?" she asked out loud and looked at the sparkling stars above her head. She looked at the stars for a while, watching how they gleamed and glistened. She heard the sound of grass crunching under someone's feet and looked up to see someone walking over to her.

James immerged from the darkness and walked over to her side. "Lily, we need to talk," he said firmly. Lily blinked and looked up at him. She knew that this would happen sometime. She dind't know it would be tonight.

"Sure" she said and looked at the lake. She couldn't bear looking him in the eyes. It would be too much for her to handle. She wouldn't be the one who started talking. She knew this better than anyone else knew it.

"Lily, I don't think this is…" James trailed off and didn't continue to speak at all.

"Right" Lily finished off his sentence. "What potter…do you mean you don't know if its right, if were right…if what were doing is right…or is it that you don't think we should do anything at all…Tell me" she said and looked over at him. She saw from the light of the lake, that he looked as if he was punched in the gut with her words.

"Lily, you have a boyfriend…I can't its not right" he said and looked at her in the eyes. Lily turned away and looked at the lake again. She didn't want to give herself the pleasure of looking him in the eyes.

"You don't think that troubles me too…I don't know how it happens Potter…but it does" Lily snapped and jumped off the rock and landed on the opposite side of the rock than that James was standing next to. He had moved closer to her, too close for her comfort at that time.

Lily and James had been sneaking off to the room of requirements on a daily basis now. It was fun, but afterwards every time it ended…Lily felt a ball of guilt building up in her stomach and getting tighter and tighter and bigger…It made her feel like she wasn't worth loving. She dind't know why she let herself sink so low.

"Potter, I have to go" she said with a snap and walked off. She heard footsteps behind her getting closer and as she heard them she sped up. She was nearly to the main entrance when the footsteps were right on her trail.

She swiveled around in her stop to see who was chasing her. To her surprise it was Laura running up to her. "Lily wh-what happened…I follow James, I dind't hear anything. But I saw you leaving…and I knew you needed to talk…" Laura panted putting an arm on Lily's shoulder.

Lily walked up to the common room with Laura and told her what had happened…how they had fought…how everything was different again. It was all falling back into the 'I hate you phase' that they had been stuck in for so long. "I hate this" Lily said as they walked into the common room.

Lily went and sat with Laura in the corner of the room. They sat there for hours talking until Laura left. After Laura left, Lily fell asleep on the chair for a while. She woke to the feeling of someone touching her. She looked up to see John sitting next to her, cradling her body. She didn't know why but it made her angry for this to happen.

"Hi John" she said coldly. She saw how he pulled away as she said his name. "Sorry, I've had a rough day" she said quietly. She wasn't lying. However, it was more a rough few hours than a whole day.

"I'm sorry…is there anything I can do to help" John asked and began to play with her hair. He leaned down to kiss her but she moved away and sat up. "What's wrong?" John asked confused looking at Lily.

"John, I can't do this." Lily said firmly. She wriggled completely out of his arms and sat down next to him. "John, I-We need to talk." Lily looked at him in his plain old brown eyes and couldn't see what she saw in them before.

"What's wrong Lily?" John asked looking like he suspected something was array. He was too late. He was far too late.

"John, I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry, things have come up…I can't deal with us anymore. I'm so sorry" Lily said and kept hold of his eyes. She saw how his expression changed from shocked to hurt and back to shock again.

"Your breaking up with me" he said coldly and looked over to her. "What happened between us…who came between us Lily?" John asked loudly. Lily gulped as she saw how hurt he was. She dind't want to hurt him.

"Its not anyone else John! It's me okay! I need this, your too jealous all of the time!" Lily snapped and didn't mind that there were still people in the common room. John tried to hug her but she moved away and jumped off of the chair. "John why don't you get it! Back off a bit. You're smothering me right now…I need time, I need space…" Lily said as calmly as she could. She had to bite her tongue from saying _I need a lot of space…_

"Lily" John said confused and looked up to her, his eyes watery. "Why are you leaving me?" John asked and Lily smiled at him softly. "Wh-what's wrong with me?" John asked and looked up at her. She could see the tears were about to come.

"JOHN! I told you already, its me not you! John, the only thing is…your too possessive of me…your too jealous! I just need space, I need time and I need to be alone." Lily said and looked at him. "I'm sorry I don't want to hurt you, its just I need my space. Can we still be friends?" Lily asked concerned.

"Oh you want to be friends?" John snapped and looked up at her. "Sure, lets forget this ever happened! And be friends!" He said coldly. Each word was thrown at her in a strong cold way.

"John!" Lily said concerned.

"Good night!" John snapped and got up and left the common room. Lily looked around and saw that the only people left in the room were all staring at her. All the people were in the dark shadows. Yet she could feel all of their eyes.

She walked up the stairs to her dormitory and the tears began to fall. She didn't understand how she could do this. She didn't know why she dumped him, but she had. It was done, there was no way undoing what had been done.

The week was hard. However she had to keep going. She knew, that it was for the best. She needed this, and she didn't want to break down and fall off the beaten path. She knew that if she had stayed with John life would just get more complicated. Everything was up in the air then, and now she finally felt more settled. She had less to worry about. She was lucky though, and she knew it. She wasn't attached to John, not as much as she could have been.


	10. White Hogsmeade

A/N: …Luvable-Cutie, FYI your assumptions is…quite right…

Chapter Nine: White Hogsmeade

Slowly day-by-day Lily was recouping from her own actions. It was the week after and on Saturday morning when she finally felt at least okay about breaking up with John. Lily walked down to breakfast; she barely ate anything though, she hadn't been feeling hungry lately. She knew it was probably because she summoned food and ate in the dorms…somehow she didn't really like eating in the great hall at that moment. She needed to have her space from John, and she needed him to notice it too.

As she sat there she contemplated going to hogsmeade at all that trip. She knew it would be on of the last days with better weather. Even though it was a rainier day than she would have preferred. At least it wasn't snowing. Lily finished her small breakfast of toast and walked back up to the dormitory. She grabbed some galleons and put them in the pocket of her cloak. She smiled as she walked into the common room. She saw Laura sitting with Sirius on a plush chair. She walked over and put a hand on Laura's shoulder.

"Hey Laura, guess what!" Lily said beaming, a smile creeping across her face.

"Hey Lily…what is it?" Laura asked looking up into Lily's face.

"I'm going to go to hogsmeade this time…I'm not coping out!" Lily whispered so that Laura could hear her.

"Your Serious Lily…I mean your not lying?" Laura and Sirius said in synch with each other. It was a bit creepy how they spoke at the same time like that, and always each time, saying the same thing as the other. Lily blushed and smiled bashfully at them.

"See you down there" She said playfully and walked out of the common room. She began walking down to where Argus Filch was checking students out. She saw the scruffy man standing in front of her he was nearly twenty years old and had a grudge taller than Mount Everest growing inside of him. He hated the students and mostly because he had never been able to be fully involved in the magical world. He was after all a squib. Lily walked past and headed down to where everyone was waiting to head down. She was waiting to go down with Laura and everyone; she wanted to be a surprise. Or really, be able to see him just once more since their fight. She didn't know why, but it had been eating at her more and more, and not because of what had happened…or how she had acted. It was something else; she couldn't quite put a finger to it. Or even a name at that matter.

"Hey ready to head down…the boys are heading down in a bit, I said we'd meet them in three broomsticks. I just need some time to talk to you." Laura said as they began the trudge down to Hogsmeade. "Lily, we need to hang out some more. I mean, just the two of us." Laura said as they walked down the hill to Hogsmeade Village.

"Yeah, but you know how I am…I'm fine with you and Sirius" Lily lied, she still dind't know him at all. And it didn't help that he had been one of the boys trying to get her and James together forever. It got a bit annoying after the second try. _Oh Evans, I know someone who likes you…you want to snogg them eh?_ Who in their right minds answers that question?

"Lily, don't kid yourself. I know you, we've known each other forever, c'mon, I'm not stupid!" Laura said with a chuckle and they walked down a street in Hogsmeade.

"When did you say you'd meet the boys?" Lily asked trying to change the topic. She didn't feel like talking about how she felt. She didn't really feel comfortable admitting that she felt like this. That she didn't enjoy her best friend's boyfriend or the guy she shagged's best friend…or more thoroughly that she actually shagged the guy she had hated since first year.

"Lily, its later…we have time, c'mon I want to talk to you." Laura said sincerely and Lily felt a pang in her heart. She couldn't keep this from Laura forever she knew it. She needed to get it out; she needed to get through it all now.

"Laura, I can't do this…" Lily said her head falling slightly. "I can't pretend anymore, he's part of my life now…but I don't know if I want that anymore…I don't know what I want" Lily said and tears began to fall. She knew it was time; she needed to get through this. She needed to get it out, she needed to get away from him or else deal with the mixed feelings and signals. "Laura, you know Its hard to deal with" Lily whispered to her friend, she didn't want passers by to hear her confessions, she knew the gossip would fly like fire in a wheat field. It was just what everyone did; it was the teen thing to do. "Lorr, I shagged him…I mean, why did I do that?" Lily asked confused. She knew it wouldn't come easy, she knew that Laura knew this. She didn't care; she needed someone to help her. She needed to escape from all of this.

"Lily, its okay" Laura said and hugged her friend. Lily felt confused. She didn't know why she did this now and so long after anything had happened.

"Thanks Lorr, I mean…you're a good friend, thanks for being here for me," Lily said and they walked back down the street. Lily whipped the stray tears off of her face and smiled over at her friend. "Hey, I'll be there in a sec Laura" Lily said as Laura headed to the Three broomsticks. She was saving time; she was trying to avoid being stuck there for a long time. And still, she knew Laura knew that.

Lily walked into Honey dukes and looked at the displays of mouth-watering candies stacked all around. She walked over to a display of new sweets. There was an assortment of chocolate cauldrons, fizzing drinks, and many other sweets in this area. She picked up a bottle of a bright green apple flavored fizzing elixir, she knew it was a knock-off of muggle soda but didn't mind. She bought some things to make it look legitimate that she was actually going to Honey dukes; and not just pretending to be there. Slowly she walked towards the door but something blocked it, someone blocked it. She dind't feel like looking at who was in the doorway, blocking her only exit. She didn't feel like doing anything. This someone was standing between her and something she felt like stalling.

She didn't see the hand of the person in the doorway move. She didn't notice the hand, until it reached out and touched her. Then she felt her world shatter, but not in a completely horrible way. Her safety bubble just popped, and this person, his hands were cupping her face. "What are you doing here?" she asked confused as he stood there in front of her.

"_What am I doing here?_ What do you _think_ I'm doing here?" James said in a way that showed that he thought she should have known all along. "C'mon, they're waiting for you" James said opening the door, and stepping outside. Lily didn't want to, but she fallowed him. Lily looked up at the clouds and saw it was darker than before, the rain was sure to come soon and she didn't have a cloak with her. "Lily, before we go in…we need to talk" James said walking over to a bench near the three broomsticks. He left a spot for her to sit and she walked over sitting down slowly. As she sat down, she felt his hand settle on the small of her back. She blushed even though she knew this was nothing compared to what had happened with them this school year. Still it was the fact that they were sitting together, for all eyes to see. It was unnerving.

"James, you said you wanted to talk" Lily said turning to see his face. He nodded only and moved closer to her. She knew it would happen sooner or later, she knew he would move in on her like a leopard on a gazelle. It was just known. One of his hands rested on her knee the other on the small of her back.

"Lily" He said his breath visible in the now cold weather. He pulled her closer to him, so that they were now touching even more than before. She didn't complain, even though it scared her even more than anything else. His hand moved again so it was again on her neck, holding her head ever so gently. She groaned almost inaudibly as he moved in and began to kiss her. She knew someone was watching, she dind't know who. Still, she didn't care. She just kissed him back. "Hmmm…" he mumbled as he pulled away. "We should head in now," he said softly as he directed her to the door. Lily smiled to herself as she walked to the table. She took a seat next to James and smiled at Laura.

They sat there for a bit of time, they had a round of butter beers. Lily could feel the warmth itch through her body as the drink went down her throat. She looked out the window to see it was still ruddy weather. "Well," she said after a while of their quidditch talk she smiled at them. "I'm gunna head back soon" Lily said quietly and looked into her empty mug of butter beer. "Have fun" she said louder this time getting up and walking from the table. As she stepped out of the door and into the cold October air she felt it hit her. She could barely see at the moment. Snow had begun to fall and quite rapidly. "Oh buggers," she mumbled kicking the light dusting of white powder on the ground.

"Bitter weather isn't it now, eh?" James said walking over to her. _Had he fallowed her?_ He handed her his cloak and smiled. "I'll walk with you," He said and they walked up the hill back to the school. "So, what did you buy at Honey Dukes?" James asked smiling trying to snatch the bag from her. "Ha" he said jokingly as she managed to sneak it from her hand. "Ooooooh, a box of Chocolate Cauldrons, one of the Fizzy Elixirs, and…" He didn't go on, he stopped dead in his tracks. Lily stopped and began to walk to him, as she neared him. He grabbed her around the waist, taking her down on top of him on the ground on the now snow covered hill. "You really got this eh?" He asked leaning over and pressing her to the ground.

"C'mon James" Lily said as he pulled what she had heard what was his favorite candy out. It was chocolate-Carmel toffees. She dind't buy them because they were his favorite. She had bought them because they also were her favorite. "Yeah I got them James…now, can we go…I-I'm cold" she said as she squirmed away.

"Lily, I didn't hand you my cloak for you to hold it… Here" He said with a chuckle as he took it from her clasping hands. She blushed as he placed his cloak around her shoulders. "There" he whispered in her ear. "You look good" he said kissing her gently on the neck. The sensation filled Lily with a hallow yearning for more.

She turned her head slowly so she could see his face. His hands were on her hips. "James" she whispered quietly so he could barely hear her. They stood there for a little while, just looking at each other. The snow was now falling harder and even though it was cold, it had a romantic feel. She smiled to herself as he began to kiss her slowly. "Mmmm" she groaned in protest as he pulled away.

"C'mon" he said softly, taking her hand and holding it. They walked holding hands up the large hill. "Come with me" he said softly turning to her his breath warming the exposed skin on her neck. She nodded slowly and she simply followed him. She didn't follow him because she felt she had to, she followed because she wanted to follow. He led her to a small group of trees by the lake, where he stood and stared into the cold water. His eyes not glaring or staring but they seemed to be searching. Searching for something, and Lily loved watching it. She felt compelled to watch him as he watched the lake. It felt so welcoming. They did this for what felt like hours, but in truth it was only five minutes.

She watched with relaxed eyes as James walked slowly over to her. He put his arms around her and enveloped her in a long embrace. He slowly began to kiss her, and she knew this was nowhere near the end. This wasn't even the first chapter.


	11. Holiday Cheer

A/N: Sorry for the long weight, I had work…then my computer crashed! I had a free time and was going to go and edit the story…but couldn't…computer had a shit load of bad virus's…and it killed it…all the files got contaminated…so I had half of the chapter done, but now…I'm starting anew.

Chapter 11: Holiday cheer

Before the Break:

_Memory_

_Time seemed to fly faster now. Lily was happier than she had felt in the beginning of the year. "Good Morning" she said softly walking over and sitting next to James at breakfast. His arm snaked its way around her stomach pulling her closer to him. She loved this, being close to him. They had begun dating after that day in hogsmeade._

"_So, James" Sirius said smiling. "What are you doing for Holidays," Lily noticed that he was staring at his plate. And not in a 'lost in thought' way that he usually stared off in. He seemed to be throwing fireballs from his eyes at his plate. She could see the pain and hurt in his expression. And she knew something was amiss._

"_Sirius? Where is Laura?" Lily asked quietly not wanting to start anything. Still knowing that she would start anything no matter what she did or said. It was the inevitable._

"_Shut it EVANS! Okay! I don't know where the bloody Fuck Laura is! She could be **DEAD** for all I know! Or even Care! Got that!" Sirius snapped slamming back from the table and leaving the room. Even though Lily knew this could happen, she was more than shocked when it had happened._

"_What the bloody hell is his problem?" Lily asked James looking at him squarely in the eye._

"_Well…Lily I thought Laura would have told you…they had a row…and split…and Laura ran off to someplace…and Sirius was trying to find her yesterday…and didn't find any trace of her even existing anymore…or even at all…" James said quietly. "She's giving him the cold shoulder, in a serious way…" James said with a sigh. "Lily, we should talk" James said squeezing her closer to him. Lily's heart sank slightly with fear. She didn't know what was going to happen…she didn't know what he wanted to **talk** about._

"_Okay" she said quietly…_

"_How about we talk in private" James said smiling at her softly. Her fear rooted deeper inside of her mind. She just nodded and they walked together in silence. Lily scared of what he wanted to talk about, and James wanting to talk._

_They walked up to the Room of Requirements and stood there for a moment. The door revealed itself and let them into the room. "Okay…Lily" James said quietly as he closed the door. He walked over to her resting a hand on the small of her back. Holding her close to him. "Okay…I wanted to ask you something," James said softly, his eyes glimmering slightly in the golden light of the room of requirements. "I wanted to ask you, if you know…if you wanted to…if you would…you know…if you wanted to err- meet my mum and dad…and stuff like that…I mean…This holiday break?" James asked stuttering a bit._

_Lily sighed, she felt relieved that this was what he was asking her. "Okay James…but what do you mean by that I mean…how do you want me to meet them" Lily asked quietly. Their eyes connected through an invisible string._

"_Well, I was thinking that maybe, you could come home with me this break?" James asked quietly. Lily didn't tell him that she knew he had watched her when he had left for holiday break each year. She was sitting there, in the common room, not going anywhere._

"_R-really?" Lily asked, her jaw dropping in shock. "I-I'd love to" she said softly._

Week later

Lily walked from her final before holiday class. She was meeting James the next day in Hogsmeade to go to his house. That day during classes Lily could barely concentrate or even think of anything other than Holiday break. She walked straight to the dorm and made all of her clothing fold itself and sort it out. She dind't like doing the chores manually, it took too much time. She smiled as all of her things in her trunk sorted themselves out and she had room for almost a body in her trunk. Well, that is if the person was a ventriloquist. She ran her hands through her hair and closed her trunk with a thud.

"Hey James" she said softly as she saw him at dinner. His arm snaked slowly around her waist. She blushed lightly, but she enjoyed being close to him. She liked him more than anyone could even imagine. The night before she had a dream and in it, she had his kids. And normally she didn't really enjoy kids too much, but with him, she didn't mind them.

The next morning at around eight am she walked back from breakfast and got her trunk. Quickly tying her cloak on she walked down to hogsmeade. "Hey James" She said cheerily, her Gryffindor scarf tied around her neck.

"Mrs. Evans" James said jokingly and helped her with her trunk. They walked to the road and James stuck his wand hand out in the air. Minutes later with a loud bang a purple double Decker bus appeared. A man with a nametag of "Ernie" led them in and took their trunks for her. James told him where they were going, Ernie told him how long it would take and took some money for the trip. "C'mon" James said leading Lily up to the top level of the bus. "Be careful, the bus is a bit. Rickety" he said as the bus ricketed from side to side.

Lily fell asleep through the jostling turns, popping sounds, and utterly odd sensation of riding in the night bus. When she awoke, it was to James telling her that they were there. James led her through the streets of Godrics Hollow. He led her up a road and told her to close her eyes and hold them closed tight. When she opened her eyes she was standing in front of a white Victorian style farmhouse. It was large, and gorgeous. The whole house was surrounded by warmth.

The door opened and the sight made her sigh. James's mother walked out of the doorway. A broad smile upon her face. Her hair was a deep brown and her eyes a dark chocolate brown. "James! Your home, who is your friend?" His mother asked smiling. Her eyes glimmering with happiness, the image of her smile, made Lily think of what James would have looked liked as a child; and probably as a child on Christmas.

"Mum, this is Lily Evans. She's err- my girlfriend" the word hit her and seemed to make her feel special. She loved being called his girlfriend. "Lily this is my Mum…her name is Elizabeth." James said introducing the two of them. "Mum is dad in?" James asked quickly.

"He's at work still Hun" Elizabeth Potter said looking at her son with sorrowful eyes. "He'll be back around six or so," His mother said smiling. "Let me fix you two some tea and I need to hear how the year has been.

"Oh that would be lovely" Lily said smiling. She walked into the large foyer of the Potter family. The staircase was to her right and its white railing reminded her of old west movies from America. She had no clue why though. The floor was hard wood and the color was a light golden brown. It looked gorgeous. The living room was to the right and the chairs were large white sofas with red pillows. It looked very pulled together. There was an antique (or so it looked) Asian rug on the floor in the living room. The kitchen to her left was quite large and the counters were a white marble. They radiated clean.

Lily would feel happy just seeing rooms that looked like these. She never told anyone but as a child her dream was to be an interior decorator. However, now as a witch, her mind was not set on what she would do for her career.


	12. One Lump or Two

**Chapter Ten: One Lump or Two**

**_On the Night Bus  
(before meeting Mrs. Elizabeth Potter):_**

_**The Dream** _

_"Lily, I love you" James said softly his lips brushing against her cheek sending jolts of fiery passion over her skin. His hair was messier then usual, and there was a patch of dried blood on the edge of his cheek. His lip seemed slightly split._

_"__James, what's wrong?" She tried to ask, but nothing came. Her words were stuck in the back of her throat like a cork had been placed to plug her words and keep them from escaping. "JAMES!" she tried to yell again but nothing came._

_She watched as he leaned forward and kissed her on the forehead, before standing slowly to leave. "I love you" he whispered and left the room, fading from view. Lily tried to run and find him, but couldn't move, she looked around her and saw ruble nothing but the ashen remains of a house burnt to the ground. She saw the gleaming sign on what would have been the door and pushed through hearing yelling and crying, and not knowing what to do. Walking into the house, she saw him. Lying on the floor, cold and dead, he had his wand in his hand, and fear was written through his frozen face, something horrible had happened here. But what was it, who would do such a thing?_

Later that Day 

"So Lily," Elizabeth Potter Said as she poured herself a cup of tea, Lily's cup already resting on the table in front of her.

"I've heard some talk of Hogwarts in the past holidays with Sirius and Remus and the old gang…and they always mentioned well, the name Evans…" Elizabeth trailed off as she was eyeing Lily over the top of her cup of tea.

Silence. No sound was made for a moment, only interrupted by the slightest intake of breath. "So are you not the elusive Evans they had been talking about for ages? Hmm?" Elizabeth's eyes sparkled the way they had earlier with the same amount of magic.

Lily had been taking a sip of her tea. Looking up to see James standing in the doorway, leaning on the doorframe and staring at her with intrigue. She couldn't help but blush. She knew that the answer undoubtedly would be yes, for one thing, she was the only person in the school Named Evans.

"Well, I, I believe so…seeing that Evans is not a common name in Hogwarts…" Lily looked Mr. Potter Evenly in the eyes and smiled, "actually I'm the only Evans in Hogwarts History." Lily smiled and looked into her tea.

"Why isn't that sweet," Elizabeth commented with a smile. "Oh come here darling," she said to James "don't be shy, I promise you I won't embarrass you too much." Elizabeth raised her arms out to signal to James to walk over and sit next to the both of them. Lily looked over at James through the corner of her eye watching as he walked over to the vacant chain In between Lily and his mother. He could have really picked either side of the table, seeing that both Lily and Elizabeth were sitting exactly opposite of each other at the small round table.

"James, would you like some tea?" Mrs. Potter asked slowly picking up a cup and saucer that matched the others in a perfect rose detailed floral set. She began pouring him tea before he could even answer.

"Thank you Mum" James said sweetly before she had even finished pouring the tea. Lily tried to act as calm and casual as possible, but however hard she tried. She couldn't shake the images from the dream. The urgency in James's voice as he said hat he loved her. Most of all, she couldn't really believe that he would love her. He'd probably meet someone else when he went off to become an Aurora. It's not like he'd stay with _me_.

"So Lily, may I call you Lily?" Mrs. Potter asked to make sure her behavior was not acted out too soon and that Lily felt comfortable. And she did.

"Oh its fine Mrs. Potter" Lily said with a smile and blushed a little. She felt almost, awkward being in such a formally relaxed environment.

"Oh please, call me Elizabeth, or Liz…either one is fine!" She smiled, and got up to put more tea on the stove. Moments later there was a loud popping sound of someone apparating and a man with messy black hair and hazel eyes that were similar to James's beautiful eyes. Lily could only assume that this was his father, he had a strong looking build like he had been a quidditch player in his day, or maybe it was because of where he worked. Lily had no idea that it had taken this long to talk about absolutely nothing, I guess time flies when you're relaxed, and comfortable…and also when you are scouring over every detail in a small room.

"Lizzie," The man said with a smile, "I'm home, hello James old chap!" he said with a beaming smile, his eyes twinkling with a beautiful light that James had shown Lily months before. "And who is this?" He asked inclining to Lily.

"Well" Lily said with a sly smile, "apparently I'm the illusive Evans" Lily smiled letting herself relax even more.

"Ah yes, I can see it now…I remember James said he just loved your eyes, he told me it was what actually got him interested in you at first, and then your laugh added onto it, and how you acted when you were mad. He must of enjoyed bugging you, because he said that every time you fought, he wanted to hold you in his arms afterwards..." Lily leaned forward, listening to every word. As Mr. Potter finished his sentence there was an audible cough from James. He had been taking a bite of his tea when he swallowed some, and inhaled a bit of it.

Lily looked over at him, thinking that what his father had told her was the sweetest thing she had ever heard. He loved her, he honestly loved her. Or so it seemed now, but with the dream pulsing into her mind every few moments, she had nothing to do but fear what had caused such an outcome, and if it was really a truth?

James looked over blinkingly at his father. Lily watched his expression change, and she wouldn't tell him but she could read him like a book, a very-er-sexy book. Lily smiled to herself, a piece of her hair falling into her face, shielding herself from James.

"Lily, if you haven't guessed, this is my father Harold J. Potter." James smiled, and he looked over at her. She felt his fingers grace her cheekbone delicately, as he moved her hair behind her ear. James turned and faced his dad who was standing next to Elizabeth, his hand resting on her shoulder, Lily felt James place his hand upon her own hand, which lay resting upon the edge of the table. "Dad, I want you to meet Lily Evans-" he smiled in a slightly sly way "-my girlfriend." He said the worlds smoothly as though they were a rich dark chocolate, or some kind of delicate and sweet candy.

"Now that is a nice-and sweet change isn't it Harry dear?" Elizabeth asked smiling up at her husband.

"Of course it is Lizzy," said Harry with a smile, he had James's same messy black hair. "Our son is no longer figuring out ways to get Lily to date him, he has found a way that worked." _Well…sex?_ Lily thought but dared not to say, how they ended up becoming an item. James's dad smiled at Lily in a warm way that Lily could read only as 'welcome to the family.'

Lily smiled laughingly; she looked over at James and then back over at his parents. "The this is-I thought that James could be a nice guy for most of the years-then he just became a complete fool!" Lily smiled, "you know the first day I met him-on the train-I completely fell in love with his eyes, and he was really helpful, I was having a hard time getting my trunk onto the luggage rack." Lily could still remember the way their eyes caught. "He helped me put it up," Lily smiled, she looked up at him, and saw how bewildered and shocked he was at her admitting her long kept secret.

"That is so cute—Harry and I met at Hogwarts." Elizabeth said and squeezed his hand. "I was head girl and in seventh year—and I met him before a quidditch match. We knew of eachother before, but we didn't know eachother, do you know what I mean?" She asked and Lily nodded, looking over at James. "I got lost, and went into the wrong-well-area, I walked into the men's or really boy's changing room instead of the girl's, I was going to tell my friend was going to tell my friend Megan good luck in the game," Elizabeth flushed slightly, "well in short- I walked in on him, and he was in nothing but a towel- I gasped and shouted out, 'Sorry ah Bloody Hell, how did I end up in here! Bloody feck!"

Harry smiled, "It was very adorable, she kept trying to leave- and ended up opening the closet door- it happened with two doors until she gave up and asked for help, by this time I was full dressed, and I exited with her helping her to where her friend would have been."

Lily laughed slightly, "that sounds similar to when I was heading to the Pitch and walked down the wrong hall, everyone was dressed I just walked straight into an invisible James," Lily smiled remembering the day. "The this is – I don't even know why I changed my mind about James – I know I thought he was nice, but that was outside of the group –" Lily looked at James, he just watched her express her inner feelings to him and his parents. "When you added the friends, he began to try to get me to like him, and was a tad annoying about it – and you know, well arrogant." Lily laughed nervously.

She took a breath before continuing, "He did really save my life this year, though, and I'm very grateful for that!" Lily felt herself freeze at the thought of it. "Something, or someone invisible and – cold shoved me. I remember hands and breath like ice hitting my neck, it made me shiver uncontrollably…James and Sirius had been walking with my friend Laura – and Sirius's then girlfriend, and myself. We were on the level above the entrance hall staircase." Lily looked up at James and saw how he looked as if ready to hug her and hold her, the memory was coming back. Lily gulped, "well, I was shoved down the staircase, and James cast a spell to slow my fall, because I wasn't right on the stairs as of yet – but he brought me to the hospital wing after I fell. When I awoke in the wing, I saw all of the 'marauders' in the wing. James helped me back to the common room – and we've been friends ever since…until a week or two later and we became a couple."

Elizabeth looked over at Harry with a concerned expression playing across her face. "Do you mind if I steal James for a moment?" Harry asked urgently, and they quickly walked into the hallway.

Elizabeth turned to Lily and smiled consolingly, "They won't be too long, Harry just doesn't want there to be devastation in our home, its nothing against you. He-he's an auror, and is probably interrogating James about people who might want to hurt you." Elizabeth said in way that sounded almost sarcastic but still not at the same time. She leaned in, and put her hand on Lily's arm, "Don't worry, he likes you – if he dind't he would have been extremely and openly rude to you – I mean he's a nice guy, but he might have left at the beginning, unless it was urgent things – you know, life and death." She said and gave Lily's arm a squeeze.

James walked back into the room; he smiled at Lily and his mother in a relaxed and contemplative way. "Dad's heading off to the ministry – its, he got a bit unnerved when he heard about the accident. He thought it might have to deal with the rise of activity with the dark wizard named 'Lord Voldemort'. He's doing his own crusade mum – he wants to kill all of the muggles and muggle-born witches and wizards." James said as calmly as he could, but Lily could detect sounds of fear in his voice.

"Don't worry James – If I die at the hands of an 'Evil' Wizard I'll die fighting." Lily said with a strong and determined tone to her voice. She saw how nervous and almost scared James looked as she talked about dieing, and even being killed by dark wizards and she added reassuringly. "I'll become an Auror, and fight off his plants, and we will succeed. And if not us, it will be _our kids_."

"Our Kids" James said a smooth dreamy tone coming into his voice. He hadn't yet sat down, instead he moved over to Lily and kissed her softly in a simple and passionate way on the lips, before he whispered against her cheek "I love you."


	13. Green Embers

**Chapter 12: Green Embers**

Later that night when the stars hung in the sky and twinkled over the white snow-covered hollow bellow. James's hand rested on the small of Lily's back as he quietly led her to what would be her room for the long holiday break. Lily's room was right next to James's room and it was connected through a shared bathroom. _That will be fun,_ Lily thought as she was told about the connection of the two rooms. The room was adorned with a large four-poster bed; Lily's trunk had already been moved to the end of the bed. The room was painted light gold and had red trim. It had a strong resemblance to the Gryffindor Common rooms, or even the dormitories. There was a cozy looking window – seat with a red blanket covering it.

"James, this, this is amazing." Lily said stammering from the shock of the beauty as she walked to a large golden-framed rectangular mirror, it hung over a vanity that Lily felt she wouldn't use.

"Its nothing really" James said humbly as Lily investigated the ornate items decorating the room, from the beautifully framed mirror to a small box on the bed side table.

"Nothing? This is far from nothing." Lily shook her head and walked over to him, grabbing his hand and pulling him the rest of the way over to her. She laughed slightly and kissed him softly. "James?" Lily said needing a question to be answered.

"Yes," he said softly breathing into her hair. The warmth of his breath tickling down her skin and making her want to forget her questions and to just be. Still that wasn't like her, she couldn't easily forget questions.

"D-do you love me?" Lily asked the words coming out huskily, she was speaking in far more of an intoxicating fashion than she had mean to, but it wasn't like he'd care.

"Yes I love you" James said with his lips pressed into her hair, his breathe tickling her forehead. He kissed her forehead once more sending chills down her spine.

"Do you mean it?" She asked with a smile as she kissed his neck, she heard him moan involuntarily. And laughed to herself before asking again "Do you really _love_ me?" She asked now looking deeply into his beautiful hazel eyes.

James looked deeply into her eyes, as if pouring his soul into hers and letting their souls entwine for a moment in sheer bliss through their eyes. He gave a quiet breathy laugh before speaking, "Do you really need to ask?" he asked with a smile exposing itself on his lips.

"James –" Lily said pleadingly, she really wanted to know, for herself and for her own sanity. "I want to know," Lily said letting go of his hand, she watched him as he answered.

"Lily, I wouldn't have said it, if I didn't mean it." James said with a chuckle and he stepped again closer to Lily, placing his arms around her waist he lifted her up off of the ground.

"James" Lily said halfway between a sigh and a shocked-squeal, she leaned in kissing him full on the lips. "I love you too" she smiled a single tear falling down her cheek, she was crying not because of sadness, but because of joy and happiness.

James leaned in and kissed away her tear, he moved again and kissed her with the passion that he had the first night in the room of requirements. A bitter and even salty flavor was left in her mouth, from the residue of her tear. Her body was on fire, and she couldn't help but want more. Pulling her arm around his neck, she began to tug playfully at his hair, all at the same time she kissed him on the hollow of his neck.

James walked over to the bed, with Lily held in his arms, carefully he lay her down on the bed. Slowly, without taking his eyes off of her, he took out his wand and magically locking the door behind them. Lily had her wand on her hip, and quickly took It with her free hand, the other was still entwined in James's hair, she was not sure what would happen, but she hoped it would be fun, and she cast a sound-proofing spell that protected people from hearing the sounds that would come from that room.

"James!" Lily squealed as he pounced on her, he chuckled and began kissing her wildly all over, Lily moved her head and kissed James's neck a second time with a sly smile she began kissing him on the lips. While kissing him she nibbled slightly on his lips and in the heat of the moment James began toying ever so delicately with Lily's skirt. He moved his hand up the back of her thighs, meanwhile kissing her forcefully and then softly in alternating pressure levels. He was teasing her, and even teasing himself at the same time. James's hand had now traveled all the way up her skirt, and he was now moving his hands down her thighs his fingers caught the elastic of her knickers and he slowly began to pull them down.

The time went by slowly and passionately, as they professed their love for eachother with physical means. Lily woke up with the sunlight gleaming upon her naked body, turning over she found James sleeping next to her, a smile upon his lips. "I love you," she breathed quietly, placing her head upon his chest. She felt his chest rise and fall with the methodical rhythm of his breathing.

She looked up at his face, and leaned over him, her hair falling from behind her ear and falling into her face, where it sheltered both Lily and James in a blanket of red. She saw his eyes move slightly, as he opened his eyes and smiled up at her. "Hello Beautiful" he whispered to her, before wrapping his arm around her body again. They lay on her bed, their naked bodies entwined in a romantic and peaceful time.

"James," they heard Sirius Black calling from the living room, "c'mon mate," he called again. James slowly rose from the bed; Lily sat for a moment, pulling the blanket around her.

"Sirius," James said opening the door slightly, "give me a minute to get ready," he said looking slyly over to Lily, "I just woke up…" he said groggily.

Lily groaned, not wanting to get dressed at the moment. Lily looked around the room for all of her clothing, "I won't be able to find my clothes in this mess" James said with a laugh.

"Just use magic…" Lily giggled and summoned her clothes to her magically making them clean themselves and even making them put themselves on her, it was not a normal feeling for her to have a bra snap itself. "There" she smiled looking up and seeing James dressed next to her she asked, "do I have bed head?" she bit her lip trying to make-sure her hair looked half-way decent.

"No" he smiled and chuckled, "I'll get it for you" he added and took Lily's hair band and pulled her hair into a ponytail. Moments later they walked down the stairs to find Sirius and Laura standing in the hallway.

"LILY!" Laura squealed running over and hugging her friend.

"Hey Laur," Lily smiled at her friend, she watched how Sirius's eyed Laura. It looked as though he still liked her.

"Hey mate!" James said walking over he patted his friend on the back, "Do you all want to do something together?" James asked curiously.

"Sure" Laura and Sirius said in unison, Lily exchanged a look of bewilderment with James. It wasn't like her friend to speak in unison with someone she claimed to not get along with, and because they were speaking in unison again, they were probably moments away from being back together.

"How about Holiday shopping in Diagon Alley?" Lily suggested smiling at all of her friends.

"That sounds great!" James said with a smile, "Lets use Flu Powder" he said with a wink to Lily and placed his hand on her back.

"Flu Powder?" Lily said nervously, "I've never actually traveled by Flu Powder – Why don't we just apparate?" Lily half asked, half suggested nervously. Lily was nervous about using Flu Powder, she had heard that if you messed up, or used it the wrong way you could end up in the wrong place completely.

"Oh is that So Evans?" James said taking her hand and pulling her against him. He kissed her softly; wrapping his arms around her he began to speak. "Okay, Sirius lets do a test who gets there first, Lily and Myself, who'll apparate or you and Laura who are going to use Flu Powder. You know where it is," James winked at Sirius and soon after Lily could feel the pressure changing around her, she clung her arms around his body, soon a black sulfur-smelling voice surrounded her, and she could still feel his body in her arms.

Soon all was missing, and she felt the ground appear bellow her. She heard the pop and still all she could see was darkness. She felt James's lips press against her forehead, and she opened her eyes, finding herself in Diagon alley, actually the leaky cauldron, and she noticed that Sirius was helping Laura out of the fireplace at the same time that they arrived there.

"Hey Guys—lets go out and have a look—" Lily began but was cut off, almost instantly by Laura.

"Lil—you two go ahead, I—well, Sirius and I need to talk." Laura said and winked at Sirius, who immediately began to smile. And this smile was in quite dopy of a fashion.

"Okay Laura you two have a nice _talk_" Lily said chuckling. She quickly grabbed hold of James's hand and began entwining her fingers with his. She still couldn't shake a feeling of impending peril, and not only that, one that felt like something, or someone was watching her.

She dismissed this feeling as being paranoid because of a mere dream. It was nothing; it was all nothing, right? She walked with James to the streets of Diagon Alley. When they steeped out onto the cobblestone streets of Diagon Alley she immediately began to look at all of the stores, searching for the perfect gift.

As they passed by Flourish and Blots, she caught a glimpse of the most beautiful book she had seen in her life, and Lily Evans had seen many a beautiful books. It was leather bound book, and the leather had a deep red-brown color to it and even from a distance you could tell, without touching it that it was smooth as satin to the touch. The book was not only adorned with golden trim but the edges of the pages had a golden sheen on every side. She walked into the store and gasped instantly as she noticed that in the front of the book there was a section for a picture, and a simple word above the picture holding section glistened in the sunlight. Memories. Lily didn't understand the effect that the book had on her, but she knew it was beautiful, and some part of her deep down knew that this book would be important; this book would save a life, or a memory from being forever destroyed.

She looked over at James, who had begun to follow her into the store and smiled slyly. "I'll be right back" she said as she stood on tip-toe and kissed him softly on the lips. She left him there standing confused and bewildered outside of the doorway to flourish and Blots. Walking to the counter she asked about the book.

"The memories book?" The cashier, a tall brunette with deep olive green eyes said in a bewildered tone. "It is usually invisible to people—unless they will be in dire need of it later." The cashier got the book and put it hastily in a bag for Lily.

"Thank you," Lily smiled as she walked out of the store and saw Potter standing in front of the store, two butter beers in hand. "Hey you moved…" Lily said feigning a false offended tone of voice. She walked over and attempted to grab the drink from him. He moved his hand away from her reach and smirked.

"I'll give it to you for a kiss" James smiled broadly as Lily walked over to him in somewhat of a sultry fashion. Leaning up on her tiptoes she kissed him on the cheek. "Not like that Evans" James said smugly, smirking in a cocky fashion at Lily.

Lily glared up at him playfully and began to kiss him on the lips, purposefully nipping his bottom lip as she did so. "Thanks" she said pleased with herself as James handed her the butter beer, after he had leaned in and kissed her on the forehead of course.

They walked down the street some more taking slow sips from their butter beers. Their bodies warming with every sip, quickly finding a free bench they took a seat and drank their butter beers. Lily was looking for something for James before hand and felt somewhat dismayed; she hadn't found him the perfect gift. She stood up and threw her drink away in the nearest rubbish bin, which happened to be right next to Quality Quidditch. She felt her hopes rising as she saw the perfect gift advertised on a poster in the window display.

James was now standing beside her, and she quickly kissed him a she walked into the store. She began looking around the store, pretending to be just looking, only looking. She walked around until she noticed that James was distracted. As this happened she walked to the shopkeeper and ordered, two, only two passes to all of next year's quidditch matches. And the main one was the ticket to the final world cup match! Quickly paying while James was distracted she walked over to his side, he was looking at a broom that was hanging from the ceiling and smiling to him.

Lily quietly walked up behind James, jumping up onto his back playfully. He turned his head and his hands grabbed her waist, he effortlessly shifted her so that her legs were wrapped about his hips and they were effortlessly able to gaze into each other's breathtaking eyes. He lifted her up slowly, pulling her against him, as though she were wait less.

Lily smiled at him as he pulled her into a long, and passionate, and need I say very public kiss. "I love you James," she whispered onto his shoulder and oh how she loved lingering in his smell, he smelled so warm, so beautifully warm.

"I love you too" He smiled and kissed her upon the lips. Lily soon felt a cold chill run down her spine. Something was wrong, something was very wrong. She shirked it off yet again and they continued looking for gifts. As they left Quality Quidditch Lily heard someone call her name. Turning her head, she saw that none other than John Thomas was walking down the street, their eyes met for a moment. A cold, chilling, and unnerving moment.

"Hello Lily" He said walking up to them. "Hello Potter" he said far more coldly than he would have normally done in the past. "So, how are you Lily?" He asked looking them both up and down—he even looked almost disgusted by the sight of them both together.

"I'm good, we're both good actually. James and I are doing a bit of holiday shopping, we've begun—well, shocking as it may seem—dating." Lily smiled at John, "How are things with you?" She asked with a bright-eyed smile.

"Good, I met a friend of my sisters Amélie, and we've been dating for a while now." He said with somewhat of a sly and even slightly disturbing smile. "Have a good Holiday" he smiled and walked off.

"That was awkward," James said leaning down and kissing Lily on the forehead. Lily smiled to herself and continued walking forward. They continued shopping for a while and when dusk began to fall they retired to the Leaky Cauldron. Where Lily and James found that Sirius and Laura had begun snogging by the fire.

"I'm going to leave, how about you?" James said smiling and kissing Lily. When she nodded he led her to the fireplace, handing her a pot and telling her as she took a bunch of powder in her hand, as he had directed her, dropping the powder into the fireplace she listened to what James said. She said a quick "Godrics Hollow" in a clear tone. The Green Flames began to dance about her feet, and quite soon a dizzying blur of brick and fireplaces appeared before her spinning and whizzing by as quickly as they had appeared. As the blur of fire places disappeared and she found herself-bags and all in the Potters Fire place. She stepped out quickly dusting herself off. Moments later James stepped out of the fireplace; he took her hand and pulled her into him, kissing her lovingly.

"Sirius and Laura should come through the fireplace as well." James said quickly and found a paper on the table, reading it aloud as both Sirius and Laura came one by one through the fireplace and almost immediately snogged eachother.

"My dad wants us to decorate" James smirked; taking out his wand he conjured a tree. "Easy," he chuckled and he and Sirius began hanging ornaments on the tree. James threw Lily the star and watched, intrigued as she got a chair and placed it in front of the tree. Standing on tiptoe on the chair she could just reach the top of the tree. As soon as she finished placing the star on the tree James grabbed her from in front, pulling her forward so that in order not to fall she would have to wrap her legs around him. As she wrapped her legs around him, he kissed her passionately on the lips.


	14. Captive

**Chapter 13: Captive**

"You two really make the best couple," Lupin said as he stepped through the fireplace. "It's couples day at the Potter house, at least I brought Peter-the only other single male in the group!" Remus laughed and looked over to the fireplace to see Peter stepping through the fireplace, covered in ash and soot.

"Oye! Mate lets have a go at a Snow Ball Fight!" Sirius spoke loudly over every other conversation that was happening quietly around the room. Lily couldn't help but notice the slightly sly smile that was creeping across his face, "Marauders against the girls…" his smile grew far more mischievous and sly at this. "Winner gets to kiss the loosing teammate, or winning, of their choice." And with that both James and Sirius's smiles began to turn far more sly.

"I need polyjuice potion in order to kiss peter!" Remus joked somewhat at least. "Sorry mate—you know kissing the girls would mean we'd be _killed_."

Peter laughed, "I'm out, don't want to plat—I'll be the referee!" He smiled, and in almost a perfectly hidden way, he nudged Remus in the shoulder.

"And I'll be the Referee's Referee!" Remus said with a chuckle and made his way to the door. Using his wand, he made two identical forts—they were taller and had more definition than any _normal_ snow-ball-fight fort that Lily had ever seen. They even had more than one level!

Lily grabbed a sweater from the coat-rack before heading outside. When she did leave the warmth of the Potter's home for the snow-ball-fight she had a mind for some 'fun'. She walked over to James in a slow and sultry fashion, a slightly sly smile toying at the corner of her lips. When she reached him she leaned in and "We are going to beat you!" She whispered it in a way that would leave any sane person dumbfounded—but James, wasn't exactly normal. James was James, and that was really the only way to describe him.

"I propose an Idea" James said swiftly grabbing Lily's arm, in a firm, but not aggressive fashion. "Lets be able to take captives." When James said this Sirius began to laugh. Lily began shaking her head furiously—trying desperately, well, not so desperately to pull her arm away from his.

"I second that Idea," Sirius said with a broad smile, "Lets call Ms. Evans, the first Captive—and James, you'll be the guard of course!" Sirius smiled slyly and looked over the fort to where Laura was now walking slowly too.

Lily stopped her foot and tried to squirm her way out of James's grasp. "Nice Try Lily," he chuckled leaning in and kissing her, pressing his hand on the small of her back and moving slowly forward at the same time—causing both to fall on top of eachother on the snow covered ground.

The game had begun and Lily was being held captive. _Brilliant_,James was still guarding her—well lying on top of her more like it. "I'm not going to move Potter—I know you'd _attack_ me if I tried to run." Lily spoke quietly, she felt slightly squished being pressed under his strong body.

He moved from on top of her, not letting go of her waist he pulled her up into a standing position in his arms. Pulling her slowly forward and into the warmth of his body. "Lily, you are perfect." He said with a whisper of hot breath upon the skin of her neck.

"James!" Lily gulped looking up into his eyes—his perfect hazel eyes. Lily smiled jumped up, clinging her arms around his neck, her legs circling his waist. "I lo--"

"Potter!" A silken—too perfect—voice came from the road. Looking towards the voice Lily saw a tall girl with long-silky ebony hair and bright emerald green eyes. She was waving at them, smiling brightly and looking somewhat _flirty_? "Who is _this_?" She said walking up to them. "I'm Emily, Emily Winters," she smiled in a kind way that concealed her true snide attitude to Lily.

"Hey Emily," James smiled in a very nervous and tense fashion. Lily quickly got off of him feeling somewhat out of place in the whole reunion factor of the day. "This is Lily," he smiled softly at Lily, pulling her closer to him—almost protectively.

"Lily eh? She's the one you told me about last year at the Holiday Theatre production of _'A Christmas Carol'_" She smiled in far more of a snide fashion than before—she wasn't really hiding the fact that she seemed to loath Lily.

James nervously ran his hands through his hair and put a firm hand on Lily's shoulder, "Yeah this is Lily." The girl looked over to Lily once more, her upper lip curling into a look of disdain and utter loathing, it would have been hidden to any guy around they would have thought that she was just 'scoping' her out, they wouldn't know that she had already scoped her out all along and was now expressing her unabashed loathing.

"Your just as he described you!" She smiled, "James, was my childhood friend even before he went off to school! Our families have always been _very_ close" she put some extra weight on the word very, seemingly trying to scare Lily off. It wasn't working, not as of yet. "You now this guy never stopped talking about a girl from his school named Lily Evans—you know at first he said you were a pain and that you really knew how to peeve him off! But I could tell he really like you—mainly because every time he said your name he'd pause for a second or too—almost like he were letting the name sink into his mind…like he were trying to capture the essence of your name!"

Lily began to blush as soon as Emily began to speak about the past and mainly about first year. "First year?" She shook her head and laughed softly, Emily smiled at Lily before turning abruptly to James to say her final words.

"Are you going to come to the Holiday Party Potter?" She asked raising her eyebrows somewhat—trying to pull of the sweet, and sensitive puppy face off on James. She blinked slowly, staring into James's eyes in a sultry fashion—the look made Lily's blood boil with Jealousy. It wasn't fully-fledged jealousy; it was more the green embers of a fiery jealousy soon to incarcerate her world in 'green'.


	15. Of Gifts and Gala Occasions

**Chapter 14: Of Gifts and Gala Occasions**

It was later that same day, and the Jealousy had subsided, or so it seemed. Lily sat on her large white bed, which felt so _perfect_ for a good nights sleep and for just lounging around in general. Lily was wrapping the gifts that she had gotten for everyone. A beautiful watch for Mr. Potter and a mesmerizing golden-chain bracelet for Mrs. Potter; and not to mention the two-quidditch season passes for James-and a friend, but Lily hoped that that friend could be her.

She heard someone knock on the door and immediately stuffed the slender box that held the tickets into her pocket that held her wand, it didn't look obvious; no it lay deep in the bottom of her bathrobe's pocket. "Come in" she said softly as she gently and nearly soundlessly closed the trunk at the bottom of her bed.

James walked into the room, a large almost mischievous and delightfully gorgeous smile playing at the corner of his lips. It only served to make him look utterly kissable, and Lily had to hold herself back.

"Lily come with me" he said holding out his hand so it was but inches away from her. Lily gently took hold of her hand and hopped from the bed with a light sounded thump. She took a step closer to him and smiled at him wondering where he was taking her and what he was playing at. And he had to be playing at something, it wasn't a _James_ thing to do, come into a room without a plan that is.

"Where are we going?" She asked a questioning-and slightly intrigued smile began to play across her lips, she watched adoringly as James tried to hide his blatantly obvious utter enthusiasm. Wherever they were going, it had to be amazing otherwise he wouldn't have been so obvious.

"Its-I'm not telling you." He whispered, and led her from her room, leading her down a beautifully decorated hall. A hall adorned with gold-framed portraits of past family members whose eyes would follow you about the room. They stopped in front of a large tapestry with what looked like a magical masquerade playing about on the canvas. The twirls, the dips, the spins all of the masks and gowns and every little thing about a medieval masquerade displayed in one tapestry for all-well all wizards who saw the tapestry to see. Lily watched as James reached out his wand and tapped a beautiful stone fireplace in the tapestry, with that simple tap of his wand the images disappeared and were replaced by that of a large door. "Lily, this place is beautiful, you will love it." James smiled at her, leaning in and kissing her on her somewhat parted lips. He opened the door to reveal a large hall with paneled walls and floors-the floors were shiny they looked like that of a beautiful and most grand ballroom.

"Oh my goodness" Lily gasped making herself sound somewhat like Shirley Temple. "Its beautiful, what are you showing me this for?" She asked somewhat perplexed, why was he showing her such a grand room of his house?

"Because, I want to show you the room that I want to dance with you in." He said this as simply as ever, smiling softly at her and leaning in and kissing her, as he pulled back she yearned for more, more kisses, more embraces, more of James Potter. "That is, before my parents holiday ball!" James smirked as he leaned back in, his words and hot breath hitting the side of her neck ever so tantalizingly.

"Holiday ball?" Lily questioned, she had no idea of such an occasion when she agreed to stay with him over break. She had nothing to wear to such an occasion, nothing and she didn't really want have to borrow a gown from his mother or the money to buy one from him! "Are you inviting me James?" Lily smiled softly, hiding her babbling thoughts effortlessly from showcasing herself on her face.

"Why Miss Evans, I would not want it any other way! If you did not come, I don't know what I would do." He smiled and leaned in, looking deeply into her emerald eyes. "Do you want to come with me? Oh and do you know how to dance?" He asked placing his hand about her waist and taking her other hand in his, slowly he began to lead her into a simple waltz, smiling down at her as if this were the best day of his life. "You are a magnificent dancer my love!" He said with a bright smile, leaning in he kissed her in a slow and passionate way, simultaneously he tied a blindfold over her eyes and leaned in after a moment of obscure rustling and crinkling sounds. "Open Your Eyes" and with that, Lily found that the blindfold had _magically_ disappeared. "Happy Christmas Lily" James said smiling; Lily could see that in his hands he held a beautiful deep crimson dress with delicate golden detailing.

"Wow James, its beautiful, b-but it's too much." Lily said humbly, giving him a soft appreciative smile.

James chuckled, "Lily, Lily, Lily" he said as someone would normally tut. His brilliant hazel eyes gleaming with a sly demeanor "If you don't want to go—that's fine…" he said sounding exceedingly disappointed.

"Oh fine James. I'll go!" Lily said her face began to flush as his hands began to travel from her waist moving up the back of her shirt. He stopped halfway up her back, leaning in he kissed her on the tip of the nose, and this served only to confused Lily.

"Happy Christmas Lily," He smiled at her and moving his hands from under the back of her shirt, clasping her hands in his. Lily felt something being placed in the palm of her hand. Smiling, she wanted desperately to know what it was. She herself still had James's gift tucked in her robe, which fell only mid-way down her thigh. She had had the robe since she were a child and was too lazy to get a new one.

"Lily, open your eyes silly!" James laughed slightly, his breath moving her hair. She had no idea that she had even closed her eyes. Opening her eyes she found a long box in her hand, raising her head and inclining a slightly raised brow at James she slowly began to open the box. Lifting the lid to find a beautiful locket-pendent with a small ruby placed delicately into the center of the heart. She smiled at the necklace and looked up at James, sighing, "Its Beautiful…" she smiled softly and gazed into his eyes feeling like she could get lost in them forever.

James stepped forward, taking the necklace from the box, he delicately brought it forward so that Lily could see that her name had been engraved on the front of the Locket-well her initials it was somewhat hard to fit _Lillian Elizabeth Evans_ on a locket effectively. He slowly moved forward again, but stepping to the side so he ended up behind her, he began to clasp the necklace by the nape of her neck.

Lily smiled, "I've got something for you too-but its nothing in comparison to this, _your_ gift-I can't even describe, its amazing, unexpected, really, but its so beautiful." She smiled and turned to face him as he finished clasping the necklace.

"I'll decide that Lil," James said jokingly, quickly adding, "anything from you is amazing to me!" He kissed her softly on the pulse point of her neck, unaware that he was making her lips part. Lily took the box out of her bathrobe pocket, carefully placing it in James's hand. She watched on baited breath as he opened the box, nervously she bit her lip as the gift was revealed to him.

"Lily" he said with a smile, taking both tickets out of the box, she saw the tickets and then the look on his face and sighed with relief. "Come with me," he said to her, "Come with me! I want you to be the person I'm sitting next to at the game." He smiled kissing her cheek as she complied to going with him, even though that was her plan all along.


	16. Snapshot

**Chapter 15: Snapshot**

"Come downstairs with me." James said with a smile, taking her by the hand as she complied he led her out of the magical ballroom. They walked back down the hall and began to head to the living room, where Elizabeth and Harold Potter were sitting on the white sofa. 

"Hey mum, hey dad," James said upon entering, his eyes wide with joy. Something was about to happen, and Lily didn't have a clue as to what. But that something, seemed to be, or at least judging by the expressing playing across James's face, it seemed to be a spectacular event.

"What took you so lon-" Elizabeth Potter cut herself off, seeing that Lily was wearing her gift from James the gold locket with the small ruby at the center. "Oh Harry, Look!" She smiled brightly and took a step closer to both James and Lily, placing her hand on Lily's shoulder. She looked over to James and smiled, tears seemed to be glistening in the corner of her eye. "It's beautiful, just like her!" She said with a wide-eyed and somewhat watery smile.

"Oh, thank you" Lily said with a shy smile, she was blushing now. Not profusely, but she was blushing nonetheless.

Mr. Potter smiled; walking over to both Lily and James he leaned closer to them with a sly smile and said a quick "Photo time." He smiled and began directing everyone to head to the fireplace. Lily walked to the sofa and sat down nervously, but James walked over to her, taking her hands in his. He directed her to the fireplace, in a surreal manor she followed.

Elizabeth and Harry stood near the fireplace, with James and Lily kneeling in front of them. There was a flash from the Harry's wand, which was set on a tripod like device in the middle of the room. A puff of smoke came from the tip of the wand and soon a picture fell to the floor.

"Lets get some more," Elizabeth, said with a smile, "I need to send Mari some of this years Christmas photos…you know old friends and all." Elizabeth smiled. She pointed to the chair and directed the seating in this picture, setting herself and Harry at both ends of the chair, and Lily and James in the center. The flash came, then the puff of smoke, and the picture landed on the floor.

"One more, just for keepsake." James said and smiled, Lily thought she caught Elizabeth Potter's eyebrow raise skeptically as she looked over to James, before setting up the next picture in a similar fashion. Right before the flash went off and the smoke erupted from the wand, James leaned in and kissed Lily fully and yet so softly on the lips so that a picture of them kissing stayed forever true in a photograph.

"Awe, James you're so sweet." His mother cooed from his side, shoving him playfully in the shoulder. Lily chuckled and smiled softly at James. An abrupt sound blared from the wand in the middle of the room, making a sound similar to a siren that seemed to screech in a blaring note. The sound was eerily familiar to Lily, and yet she didn't know why it would be.

In a moments time two identical envelopes appeared on Elizabeth and Harry Potter's laps. They had the words Ministry of Magic: Confidential, written in gold on the front of the envelope.

"Not today! Its Christmas Eve!" Elizabeth said in a dismayed tone and sighed as she opened and read the contents of the letter inside of the envelope. "We have to go. Its urgent, its confidential." Elizabeth sighed and gave both Lily and James hugs. "We'll try to get back later…" She smiled. Lily looked at James's un-shaken expression, and thought immediately that having Aurors for parents must have been much like her mothers profession of a doctor.

"We've got to be quick James, but we'll try to be back as soon as possible. We've just got urgent business to attend to at the ministry." He smiled and gave both James and Lily hugs. Lily smiled to herself as he left; it was nice to feel accepted by her James's Parents. They were both so nice, but something felt different…something felt too familiar about them.

Lily watched as they apparated out of the room and felt herself sigh silently. She could feel James watching her with a Keene eye. "What?" She asked softly as she herself gazed at the fireplace.

"Nothing—its just I was wondering what you were thinking about." James gave her a delicate and soft smile as he leaned forward, resting his chin on her shoulder and looking at her from even closer of an angle.

Lily glanced over to him and laughed softly, meeting his eyes and keeping them she spoke, "I was just thinking that having Aurors for parents must be similar to having muggle doctors for parents." Lily saw how James's eyes were twinkling softly as he looked at her.

"It probably is," James nodded and put his arm around her shoulder. He placed his free arm and free hand upon her him. Leaning forward and somewhat around her shoulder he kissed her fully upon the lips. Holding onto her he apparated into her room and stayed holding onto her as they landed upon her bed. He landed somewhat on top of her.

James sat up and pushed himself off of her, smiling softly and slyly he chuckled. Brushing her hair out of her face he leaned forward and kissed her collarbone. As his lips touched the tender skin of her collarbone she began to melt. "James" she said his name as if it were a caress letting it tickle his neck she smiled. As she breathed against his neck, looking bright eyed into his delectable honey eyes, her though began to ring true, well one at least. Thank god for James Potter.

His hand slid down the side of her hip where it rested for a moment, resting where hip and waist conjoined. He leaned forward and began to kiss the hollow of her neck, sending chills up and down her spine. Her mouth opened in the heat of the moment, her head pushing backwards against her pillow. James pulled away and Lily seemed to groan in protest. She felt his lips brush her forehead and soon after he whispered to her once more, "You are beautiful."

Their bodies entwined between soft white sheets. Their arms encircled around eachother bodies holding eachother in a sweet embrace. Swollen rosy lips not but inches from more lips, heavy lidded eyes soaking up the magic of the moment words never could express the feelings dancing through her veins—through her oceans.


	17. Oceans

**Chapter 16: Oceans**

_Oh how I hope that you're happy  
I hear you're somewhere in the sand  
and how I wish I was an ocean  
Oh no  
how I hope that you're happy  
I hear you're somewhere in the sand  
you know I wish I was an ocean  
Maybe then,  
I'd get to see you again  
I'd get to see you again…_

_--Oceans The Format._

"James" Lily spoke clearly her words were cool and soft, and they weren't meant to sound brash in the least bit. "Who is Emily? A-and why was she flirting with you?" Lily asked and sighed looking up into his soft and yet startled eyes. _Startled, not a good sign_. She thought and her eyebrows rose involuntarily. "James—do you like her?" Lily asked meeting his gaze once more—her eyes scrutinized over every small detail his eyes portrayed to her.

"Lily what do you want me to tell you—I don't like her not now—" Lily cut him off.

"But you used to like her?" Lily asked her words falling like sheets of ice, she slowly began disentangling her legs from his, as well as pushing away from him. In that moment the green embers of her jealousy began to kindle themselves into a new fire, a new fully fledged jealousy.

"It doesn't matter—but I know it was all a mistake!" James gulped as he spoke to her, the words flooded through her like sheets of icy rain ripping apart the lies she had put upon a pedestal.

"What happened James? Hmm? What was the mistake? Meeting your old fling, or whatever she is—or perhaps this whole mess in general was the mistake!" Lily was now standing; in an instant she unclasped the necklace as she pushed herself off the bed, dropping it beside him. Tears welling in her eyes, "You know, don't answer _any_ of that! I don't want to know—I'm sorry this didn't work out." She spoke softly now, and quickly grabbed and pulled on her nearby crinkled shirt and a small pouch of money off of her beside table.

"Good bye James" Lily whispered as she got to the entrance hall, quickly pulling her jacket off of its hook she opened the front door and ran outside into the cold. She didn't care that she was barefooted or wearing a shirt that was too tight for her own good—and not to mention a nightgown. She stuck her wand arm out as she ran down the walk her feet hitting the snow covered walk. She could hear someone calling her name over and over, but she didn't turn back, she didn't care. Or at least, she pretended that she didn't care. As the night but appeared she thrust the money into Stan's, (Stan, the driver of the night bus was a middle aged balding man, who sometimes walked as slowly as a snail in hardened glue) hand and told him where to stop quickly running to the back of the bus and into a seat. Looking out of the window towards the Potter's house she could see James running towards the bus.

"Go! Just Go!" She yelled to Stan and noticed that he was walking awfully slowly. _Was he stalling on purpose?_ Lily thought and looking up she noticed that James jumped onto the bus…he was looking around trying to find her, he quickly handed Stan the fee and continued his search.

"Lily" James called out and walked closer to her, she closed her eyes and tried to ignore him, it was just too hard. The tears began to trickle down her face. "Lily," he spoke once more as he made his way over to her sitting next to her. "Lily, I don't love her okay, I love you. I've always loved you." James spoke softly—even as he spoke Lily could feel even more of her tears steam down her cheeks.

"James, what the bloody hell happened between you two?" And don't even think of bloody lying to me! You know I'm good at potions and I'm afraid to—"

"Use it on me? I know, you gave some to Sirius back in fourth year!" James shrugged his shoulder and sighed.

"What happened?" Lily asked, her teeth clenched.


	18. Holidays From the Past

**Chapter 17: Holidays from the Past**

"Lily don't do anything well…slightly stupid, like kill me. Okay?" James spoke in a half serious, half joking tone and sighed. "Just listen please, I'll tell you _everything_!" James whispered to her smiling consolingly—like a consoling smile could right this wrong.

"It was at my parent's winter ball-thing-two years back. I'd had a bit too much to drink and ended up spilling my _deepest_—and most well known secret to her. That I liked you." James sighed, "I'm not finished…I should never have told her about you Lily, she liked me—a lot and I have to admit. I knew."

"You told someone who likes you that you like me—so what bad thing happened?" Lily asked raising her eyebrow a little further than before.

"Lily—she did a ruddy spell…or else she's a ruddy metamorphamagus, and well…she had left the room and came back in looking just like you, a-and I wanted to be near you so badly that we well…yeah, things got out of hand. And she's been hinting to me all this year and last year…I completely avoided the whole party last year because of it…" He paused for a moment and in that moment Lily felt her jaw drop. "A-and that summer…things happened again…meaningless stuff—"

"No, I don't know what you mean because I don't _do_ that with people I don't care about!" Lily hissed and rolled her eyes somewhat as James tried to salvage the conversation. "So you wanted me so badly that you went with a sham look a like?" Lily was more tetched than she had been before.

"Lily of course I wanted to be with you—and near you. And I wasn't exactly thinking Lil" Lily couldn't take it and cut him off.

"Wasn't thinking? Hmm, I guess not James! I mean you honestly say you love me?" Lily hissed under her breath and clenched her jaw.

"Lily" James said pleadingly reaching out his hand and brushing the hair from her face, his fingers trailing down her cheek.

"James, I can't do this right now." Lily chocked out and the tears began to stream down her face.

"Lily, please don't cry" James spoke softly, almost consolingly, he leaned forward to wipe some tears away but the bus lurched forward as it suddenly stopped.

"Oh god, James are you okay?" Lily asked, as James was now face first on the floor of the bus.

"I've been better" James said as he pushed himself back into his chair, a trickle of blood dripping down from his forehead.

"Your bleeding" Lily cried out leaning forward, she took her wand and healed the wound still leaning towards James.

"Thanks Lily," James cooed and leaned forward brushing his lips against her cheek softly, delicately.

"James" Lily sighed as James kissed her cheek. "I-I just please give me sometime" Lily sighed and looked softly but not-so-intoxicatingly-romantically softly into his eyes.

"Time" James said in a soft fashion, his words fell melancholy on the air like a light coating of ice encompassing the world. "Lily" James said softly, his words not as cold, or hurt as seconds before. "I love you, d-don't forget that. I love you. And I always will." He leaned forward and brushed more tears from her cheeks.

"James, I just need a little bit of time—and I know that you love me—I just need a moment to cool off and to think. I need some time and space to myself." Lily said this while looking into his eyes and noticed a hint of resolve, and yet some mischief twinkling in the corner of his eye.

"Well, I already pain the fair so I'm stuck with you for a bit…but after that, you can have all the time you need, b-but if you end up moving on—tell me." James's words were soft and seemed to be filled with deep sorrow and even love.

Lily nodded, "I'll tell you." Lily felt more tears fall and looking up, she noticed that they both were lamenting over the fall of their relationship. That night on the bus they both fell asleep—well Lily wrote in the memory book and took a picture of James as he slept on the bus. She wanted to keep the memories there forever, both the good and the bad ones. Lily fell asleep and still it felt like it only lasted a moment, and seeing they were on the night bus there was a good chance it did only last a moment. But still, James was now waking her up, smiling at her as he spoke. "We got to your destination Lily," He gave her another quick smile.

"You want to come in? Its late, and we've got a spare room." She gave him a quick smile. She tapped her clothes with her wand and transfigured them into different, full clothes. She stood now in a loose fitting, very comfortable top.

"Sure, I'd really like that." James nodded and slowly began to follow her to the doorway. As Lily opened the front door of her mother's childhood home she knew that James was memorizing her house number. It wouldn't be hard—she did live _right_ near Sirius Black. In fact, right across the way in a cream colored house.

"Number 11 Grimwald Place—how come you never told me?" James asked sounding astonished. Lily sighed and turned her towards him.

"You never asked." Lily spoke truthfully, he never asked if she lived near anyone that he knew, least of all Sirius. He never asked where she lived, or even who lived with her—he was in for a surprise. And that surprise was Petunia Evans. The sibling from hell.


	19. The Blonde and the NotSo Bomb Shell

**Chapter 18: The Blonde and the Not-so Bomb Shell**

"Hello?" Lily called out as she opened the front door. She could smell the aroma of food cooking—chocolate? Cookies most likely. "Mum, Dad, I'm here." Lily called out and heard someone running quickly to the door.

"Lily!" A tall red-haired woman briskly walked over to them, her eyes like Lily's were almond shaped and one was emerald green, the other cerulean blue. "Who may I ask is this?" Mrs. Evans asked and smiled, "I'm Marin Elizabeth Evans, Lily here's mum, and Alfred will be here around midnight dear." Marin gave Lily a quick _he's-a-hunk_ look before leading them to the large cream and off-white color kitchen.

"I'm James Potter, I go to school with Lily," James introduced himself and slipped his hand down Lily's back almost habitually. Lily sighed noticing the newfound pressure, but she did not move to stop him.

"James Potter, eh?" Petunia Evans walked into the kitchen her abnormally long neck popped around the corner. _Brilliant_. Lily thought as she saw her one-year-older sister. "Hey Lily, isn't he the guy from 'school' who is a freak, like you and _your_ kind--hmm, and well, didn't he get you into very tetchy moods like that?" Petunia snapped her finger and snickered as she said that. "You two used to be able to get into oh-so-epic rows that people would watch, right? And All along he bloody loved you. But you despised him. Too bad isn't it, that you didn't both like eachother—then you could get married and start a family of freaks all of your own" Petunia leered at them and laughed taking a bite of a very red and juicy apple. "Petunia Evans, by the way."

"Petty, stop that right now!" Marin Evans snapped at her blonde-haired and abnormally long necked daughter.

"Mum, c'mon I'm just having a bit of fun!" Petunia chuckled darkly and took another very loud bite of her apple.

"Petunia Isabelle Evans stop right now!" Now, Marin Evans had begun yelling at her daughter, and this was not a common occurrence in the Evans household. "Go to your room now! No phone today or tomorrow and no Vernon Dursley either!" she snapped at her daughter, and Petunia's reaction was priceless, the apple core fell to the floor with a light thud.

"B-but mum this is so not fair!" Petunia whined and cried, she _literally_ cried and promptly stormed and stomped her way upstairs to her room.

"I'm sorry about her James, she's been like that for years. Now, would you two like anything to drink" Mrs. Evans asked and smiled softly, in a caring and very warm way. "I've got some tea if you'd like—it's on the table." She pointed to a small table with a little tea set upon the round surface.

"Was that your sister?" James asked as they sat down at the table, one on each side, Lily simply nodded in response. "Ah—she's a right cow isn't she?" James asked, clearly refering to Petunia's snide attitude.

Lily couldn't help but laugh at this. "Yeah she's something. Something that drives me up one wall and down the other!" She glanced up to see that James was gazing at her, softly…oh why did he have to do that? He looked so…perfect.

Lily took a cup from the tray in front of her and poured herself some tea—she bit her lip after one sip. "Mum, what is in the tea?" Lily asked glancing up at her mother.

"Lily, it's chamomile only difference is that I bought the leaves from a tea leaf shop in downtown London." Marin Evans smiled, "And Lily get this—its organic chamomile tea!"

Lily smiled feeling herself relaxing almost immediately. "Its good—and strong" Lily had a feint feeling that there was something else in the pot of tea—something other than chamomile tea…but whatever it was, it was relaxing.

"Lily?" James asked suddenly as she fell forward her eyes closing. Lily moaned in exhaustion—the second later she fell forward once more, only to be caught around the waist by James.

"Her room's the first on the right…I should've remembered, Lily always falls asleep when we use Gran's tea recipes." Marin shook her head and smiled softly at her exhausted daughter. She watched as James carefully carried Lily to her room. Lily felt the bed under her body and smiled to herself.

"I love you Lily" James whispered to her as he began to pull her sheets and blankets up to cover her. Lily's eyes opened as James's lips brushed against the skin of her forehead.

"James?" She asked softly, causing him to pause immediately. She smiled softly, her eyes flicking up and glancing into his beautiful honey colored eyes.

"Yes what is it?" He asked kneeling down beside her bed, in a moments time her arms were about his neck and she was pulling him in closer and closer until he were but inches from her.

"I won't move on." She told him as she looked deeply into his eyes, she noticed the way they got softer and gleamed in a happy way as she said so. "Because I love you—and I know you love me too." Lily smiled and nodded as she said this. She let out a few incoherent mumbles before speaking clearly once more. "I love you, that's why I flipped earlier about the whole Emily thing." Lily averted her eyes from a moments time, looking back into them to tell him one final thing; "James, I love you."

"Oh that's so sweet," The oh-so-unpleasant and nasally voice of Petunia Evans came from the hallway, she snickered and continued. "Two freaks in love."


	20. Enraged And

**Chapter 20: Enraged and**…

"Lily Evans is no freak!" James spat and turned to face the intruder, "If you wish to call her a freak-and I suggest not doing it in front of me…or in any way where I can possibly find out because if you call her a freak, I will make you wish you were never born through utter torment! And do not take that lightly, I _will_ hang you in the air and do whatever it needed to make you realize that its it you who are the freak!"

Lily looked over to Petunia and gave her a warning look that read _he isn't kidding!_ She felt herself begin to blush, he would torment her sister for her, it was odd but in a strange way she found it sweet.

"Excuse me, Mr. Potter but I'm not the one who waves a wand around and should Latin words all day! Using dead languages daily falls into freak-Ville!" Petunia retorted and stomped noisily from the room.

"James?" Lily spoke questioningly and sat up glancing softly over to James. She smiled before continuing, his head turned and for a moment, a sweet and tantalizing moment their eyes met. Sharing a brief timeless moment of sheer silence before Lily spoke, "Would you really do all that? A-and for me?" She asked searching every part of his fathomless eyes for an answer.

James paused his eyes seemed confused for a moment as if he were searching for the best words to use. "I'd do _anything_ for you Lily, Love." He smiled softly and ran his finger over her jawbone trailing it down to the base of her chin—the feeling his traveling fingers made upon her skin was bewilderingly delightful.

Lily smiled softly, "James" she breathed his name letting her breath and her words grace upon the skin of his cheeks. Moments later her hands were in his hair, her lips pressed against his lips, her heart seemed to beet as fast as a butterflies wing's.

"I thought you needed space?" James asked smirking somewhat as he pulled away for only a moment breaking up what had been very heated and very passionate smog. So passionate in fact that Lily's sweater now rested in a ball on her floor.

"Space" Lily rolled her eyes and sighed, "Hell, I don't need anymore space! Really," Lily nodded and leaned up kissing James on the hallow of his neck. She could feel his Adams apple quiver as her lips brushed over it.

"Lily, Lily, Lily" James spoke in somewhat a joking tone and smirked mischievously once more. "You asked for space and can't simply take it back it like that—prove to me that you don't want space and I'm going to believe you."

Lily huffed and leaned up kissing him, with her wand she quickly closed the door and locked it—sound proofing the room incase anything happened. Looking up into James' eyes she could read the mischief and felt her eyebrow rise. "How the hell do I prove that one Potter?" Lily asked sarcastically and before he had time to formulate an answer she had leaned up and kissed him, she pulled him onto her bed in such a way that he were on top of her pressing her down upon the matrices.

"James, I love you." Lily whispered against his chin and smiled, leaning up she kissed him once more, and her hands were entwined into his hair. Slowly she began to pull and tug at bits and pieces of his hair, something she knew made him melt into her arms.

"Evans that was" he paused leaning in and kissing her, "Low" he kissed her once more "don't make me" he paused again and smiled, no smirked down at her, "want to take control and sh-snog you!" He leaned in and kissed her once more. "Your too good looking to not sh-snog, and not have me as a boyfriend!" James's hands had found her upper and lower back, pulling her up against his chest and holding her there securely. "Take me back!" James whispered against her neck."

"James, I already _said_ I'd take you back!" Lily laughed and her laugh radiated through the room like a thousand suns warming the already passionate room. He smiled brilliantly and tried to grab onto her, pulling her closer to him, and he tried to roll so she would end up on top, he only managed to fall of the bed, Lily landing on top of him.

"You twit!" Lily laughed and smiled brightly, "You alright?" She asked and smiled gazing down at him.

"Ecstatic, Positively ecstatic!" James smiled and kissed her upon the forehead, "Lily I love you." James kissed the edge of her collar bone after saying this.


	21. Happy Christmas

**Chapter 20: Happy Christmas**

Lily Evans awoke the next day in James Potter's strong, worm and secure arms. She snuggled up against his bare chest and matched his breathing perfectly, their chests rising and falling together in time. "Happy Christmas James" she smiled and kissed the hallow of his neck, it was really one of the only places she could reach with his arms encircling her waist.

"Lily" he mumbled and turned over so that his free arm, the one that had recently been hanging over the side of the bed oh so lazily now rested across her stomach—she took the moment to determine her surroundings. By the looks of it, they were no longer in number Eleven Grimwald place, and by the looks of the large four-poster bed with black satin sheets and matching black satin pillows—and not to mention the quidditch posters pinned to the wall, and the nameless amounts of snitches sketched on parchment pinned around the room she was in James's room.

"Lily?" James smiled and lifted his head, looking softly, dreamily, and surreally over to her lifting his hand he brushed her hair from her face and smiled softly. He looked as though his world was complete as though she were everything as if she were the world.

"James" she smiled and leaned against him once more.

"Oh god your not wearing anything" he mumbled and pulled her even closer to him, burying his head in her hair, his warm breath tickling the hallow behind her ear. "Happy Christmas Lily" James whispered against her neck before leaning in and kissing her softly upon the neck. "Do you want anything for breakfast love?" He asked and smiled softly his eyes twinkling with delight, longing, and they just burned into her like a thousand suns. They were tantalizing, fathomless, perfect.

"Mmmm" Lily mumbled, "Anything really" she smiled up at James as he got off of his bed and walked over to his dresser where he pulled out a pair of clean boxers and a white tee-shirt. He pulled on a pair of dark-gray and red plaid pajama bottoms.

"Anything eh?" He asked and smirked cheekily at her, "I could think up some brilliant things—but how about I make you something now—but you must promise to go to hogsmeade with me, or you will miss a once in a lifetime experience, James Potter cooking you Christmas breakfast." James batted his long eyelashes slowly, tantalizingly at Lily, he knew it was her weakness his eyes were always her weakness.

"Hogsmeade with you? Sounds brilliant—what's the catch?" Lily asked and stretched out, as she thought of the possibilities, unaware that she had uncovered her bare chest.

"Lily" James spoke in a somewhat strangled voice as if he were fighting an urge—and that just served to make Lily smile.

"Yes" she asked and looked innocently over to James as he was pulling on his tee-shirt, the tee-shirt clung to his chest and _everywhere_ in all the right places. He looked like he was a godsend.

"C'mon get dressed love—my mum and dad are downstairs and its Christmas…" He said with a smile and paused a moment before continuing, "You don't need to wear _full_ clothes, just something to make me not want to well…" he trailed off but raised his eyebrow at her signifying in one simple effortless movement that she should know what the final world was, and she did. The final world also happened to be what she figured his urge had been.

"Fine James—but don't attack me…I kind of need to go into your bathroom then." She quietly moved to get off of the bed and placed her feet on the floor, looking up she noticed that James was running his hands through his hair.

"_Quickly_, please? Otherwise there will be only you and me and a much needed shower?" James closed his eyes and leaned his head backwards on the large window behind him—he couldn't see that Lily stood naked next to his bed, her hair resembling that of make-out hair and bed-head combined.

_The shower_ Lily thought and felt herself half smile in thought, she sighed softly and took a deep breath. Slowly, ever so slowly she made her way to into the bathroom—she turned to the mirror and paused. She looked horrid, turned on the faucet she washed off her face and made to go to her room pausing momentarily to check, to _see_ if anyone was coming, and to her dismay no one came.

She quickly looked through her room for some clean clothes. She quickly pulled on a clean light blue bra with a teal striped and polka dotted pattern and matching knickers. Standing there she looked around for her green knee-length Bermuda-short style sweats, she quickly grabbed a pale-green tee shirt. She walked back through the bathroom trying to find her bra that she had been wearing the night before, she had to get her favorite night dress back the one she transfigured into full clothes just the day before. When she opened the door her eyes immediately fell upon a piece of parchment that lay upon the floor, it looked as if it had fallen off of the wall. She quickly walked over and picked it up, as soon as she unfolded the parchment she felt herself gasp as she looked at what she found on the paper.

It was a beautiful, a seemingly perfect drawing of a snitch—the wings even were beating on the page it was _perfect_, what had taken her aback was not the drawing it self, no it was the date on which the drawing had been made, _and_ the name that had been written below the snitch. Her name, Evans. The drawing had been made years before, she put the drawing back where she had found it and quickly made her way downstairs. When she made her way down into the kitchen she saw that James was by the stove—she couldn't help but smile. "Hello love." He whispered to her without turning to see that she had come in. This made her smile even more, they spent the day together in each other's arms, not fawning over eachother, just simply sitting together. At times Lily was found to be leaning against his shoulder, lying across his lap, or just held close in his strong arms—held close to his warm chest.

Around nine o'clock in the morning Eliza Potter, Harry Potter, James Potter, and Lily Evans found themselves sitting around the small Christmas tress opening their assorted presents. Lily hadn't expected much of anything, then again the necklace about her neck was quite a something, and so was the beautiful dress hanging in her room waiting to be used later that night. Still, she had a small pile in front of her, things from family, friends, and no doubt something from the Potters. James had probably told them that she had gotten them little gifts that she felt encompassed their personalities, gifts that really scream _them_.

"James, Thank you. I love it!" Eliza said in a happy and cheerful tone as she took out a beautiful golden sweater from the beautifully wrapped bag it looked strikingly beautiful against Eliza's dark brown hair.

"Lily helped me out with the style of it" James said with a chuckled and squeezed her hand, smiling softly at her as he said this. She had helped only because the other sweater was positively atrocious.

"Well, thank you Lily—you don't know what I've gotten in the past, but this is really nice, and a hell of a lot better than the sweater he tried to get me last year. But it's the thought that counts." Eliza smiled softly at Lily.

Lily began to open a small gift from Laura and smiled to herself as she got the 'everything potions book' "Ah a book on Potions for the one and only Potions-Wiz" James teased and placed his head on her shoulder, his chin digging in to the hallow of her collar bone, but she didn't mind she didn't care much at all. "Lily" he whispered upon her neck and tipped his head down slightly kissing her collar bone.

"Oh one from my mum" Lily said though a slight chuckle and smiled. Lily began to open the package and found a small letter and a bracelet that looked much like the necklace that James had given her.

"_Happy Christmas Lily,_

_This bracelet is now being given to you. It was my great-great grandfather's wife Lillian's bracelet. I know it just so happens to be your house colors at school, still it belongs to you. This is a family heirloom, so please do be careful, Love._

_Marin L. Evans._"

Lily read the note aloud, in her mind she could hear her mothers velveteen voice as she wrote out each line and read each aloud to make sure that they all _worked_. "Its beautiful" Lily smiled as she pulled out the delicate bracelet. James nodded in agreement that it was beautiful; he probably was thinking that she was beautiful.

"Beautiful—it does rather look like a bracelet a friend of mince once had. She was forced to move, but sent me mail none the less." Eliza smiled and sighed somewhat, "We called her Mari, but her real name was Marin Elizabeth Laughlin." Eliza smiled and paused as she heard a very audible gasp pass though Lily's now open mouth.

"Marin Laughlin?" Lily asked and nodded swallowing as she spoke. "Sh-she's my m-mother," Lily looked up to Eliza to see her smiling knowingly. "Did you kn-know?" She asked and Elizabeth simply nodded.

"We still write—she know I am a witch" Eliza smiled, "But Lily she's no muggle. I was at her house when we both gout our acceptance letters to Hogwarts—her parents couldn't afford to send her there so my mum who was head of the education department at the ministry of magic paid for her to be trained as a witch. We work with Marin actually, but she goes by Eleanora Edgemont in the ministry." Lily nodded and smiled.

"So—you knew all along?" Lily asked and Eliza Potter simply nodded, "Then would petunia be a squib?" That was where things got somewhat hazy.

"No, Marin dind't think she was right fro the magical world—and with how she was a right bit snide you, your mum decided against it. She was never accepted to Hogwarts, they got a letter saying that Marin who worked sometimes in the Department of Education thought her eldest daughter was unfit for the magical world." Eliza explained in a soft voice that was like caramel.

"But my dad—he's a muggle right?" Lily asked Eliza and she nodded, "Well now, I know who my mum was talking about when she spoke of her friend Eliza of Potter." Lily smiled and nodded at this, she now understood everything.

They spoke for a few more minutes, soon they continued to open and exchange gifts until noon when they stopped opening gifts to talk and just _be_. And they also stopped for lunch.


	22. Swirls, Twirls, and other words for Fanc

**Chapter 21: **Swirls, Twirls, and other words for Fancy Footwork.

Lily had walked slowly into the room, her hand resting softly, easily in James's own hand. James seemed ecstatic in the way he walked next to her almost as if she were a trophy a grand prize the thing that completed his life that made his life perfect. In a way that pleased her, and in another it let an awful distasteful feeling behind in her mouth. She looked up at him sideways from behind her long red hair, his hair was tousled and looked absolutely _divine_ he looked to her like he was heaven sent he was her knight in shining armor.

"Mr. James Potter, and Miss Lillian Evans" a voice announced as they walked into the beautiful _enchanted_ ballroom; nervously Lily ran her hands down the front of her dress.

"Lily you look perfect, there's nothing to fear." James whispered down to her smiling softly, consolingly. The ballroom was filled with many wizarding families of stature. Even fellow students Sirius Black, Bellatrix Lestrange-the entire Black family, Lily could make out Lucius Malfoy talking no, _flirting_ with Narcissa Black that made her sick. Narcissa despite how evil she was, was far too young for the now few-years past graduating Lucius Malfoy. Lily saw that John Thomas was standing beside a strikingly beautiful girl with long cascading black hair and soft brown eyes, she was beautiful. She was the lovely sister of Edward Chang, Serena Chang. Serena looked small and delicate, and in more than one sense she looked as delicate as a swan—and she looked as if she were weak. But Lily knew it was unwise to mark her as weak, Serena Chang was far from weak and Lily knew this all from her Defense against the Dark arts classes with Ravenclaw.

Lily could make out even more people but before she had time to register who was who James had bowed his head to her and asked her in his chocolaty voice if she would like to dance, and Lily was no dunce she knew that this dance would mean the world to both of them. "I would love too" she smiled; his eyes danced joyously as he looked upon her face which only led to her nearly blushing. As they began to dance the witches and wizards watching faded to nothing all that was left was James and Lily dancing swiftly and smoothly upon the smooth dance floor. In that moment all seemed to change to swirling taffeta and people swaying to the beat. Lily had her hair down—but the ends were curled and it was pulled back into a simple yet elegant half hitch. She looked exquisite, or so James kept whispering into her hair.

As they danced together James leaned in and kissed her lightly upon the lips. "I love you," he whispered after he kissed her, Lily couldn't help but smile at this. It was so sweet, so _James_. The song changed to another song and yet they still kept dancing and the danced progressed as swirls of taffeta and billowing silk chiffon.

That is, until the confrontation occurred. About halfway through the dance Emily came over to the happy couple like a leech trying to such the happiness from the world around her. "Hey James" she smiled brightly, not even glancing at Lily who was still in his strong arms.

"Oh Emily, its you." James spoke his voice portraying no emotion at all. She was what they had broken up over, and she was the reason he had met her sister. And her sister was the reason she was back safely in his arms. "You remember my _girlfriend_ Lily." James spoke again putting far more emphasis on the word girlfriend than Lily felt necessary.

"Oh Potter of course I remember Evans, how could I forget her." Emily spoke equally as coldly now, her eyes shifted and focused on Lily and in that simple instant, her face hardened into what seemed like a death glare. "You look beautiful, I really do love your dress and that bracelet its very beautiful—may I see it?" Emily asked and smiled coldly again.

Lily lifted her wrist, and soon felt Emily's cold hands trace the shape of her bracelet. "Its really nice." She smiled coldly again before turning on her feet and leaving. And that was all she said to her, at least for now.


	23. The Weekend

Chapter 22: The Weekend

The following Sunday they made their way back to school riding the bright fire-engine red train all the way back to Hogwarts. They were sharing a compartment with Laura, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. All of who rode in the small compartment peacefully at first.

"Laura, we need to talk." Sirius spoke abruptly and stood up, holding out his hand and smiling. Lily bit her lip as Laura stood to leave the compartment in a mournful fashion. Clearly Laura thought that Sirius was going to end their somewhat-relationship. They hadn't ever gotten _back_ together they had only hooked up over holiday and began to snogg constantly.

"Oh god, please don't be brutal" Lily whispered and leaned her head on James's shoulder. She began to doze off but was interrupted as the compartment door slammed open a pain of glass shattering Remus quickly fixed the glass—Lily looked up in time to see Sirius and Laura kissing, Laura looking bewildered.

"So what happened?" Remus asked not looking up from his book.

"Ugh-not much." Sirius was lying and it was evident by the dumb founded smile that played happily across his face.

"Ha-Not much? We the on-again-off-again couple of Hogwarts are officially on again. But Sirius, don't do anything stupid or we're threw for good." Laura didn't even look at him when she said this, but Lily noticed that he flinched as she said this.

"Look Laura, I'll try not to do anything stupid!" Sirius spoke in Ernest and so from that moment on the two of them was snogging.

"Get your own compartment love birds" Remus spoke without a hint of emotion to his voice; he didn't even look up from the book he was reading.

By the end of the train ride they were all dressed in their school robes, and sitting all peacefully next to eachother. During the trip Laura and Sirius went off for two hours coming back seemingly all-snogged-out.

"Lily come here" James spoke softly and pulled her into a deep kiss on the middle of the platform.

"Nice Evans" she heard Molly Prewet laugh and flash her a quick smile, "You two make the best couple." She smiled again and clambered into her carriage with Author Weasley and Edgar Bones.

"She's right you know" James whispered as he helped her into the carriage they shared with Remus, Sirius, Laura, and everyone including Arthur, Molly, and Edgar. Needless to say it was one crowded carriage ride, Lily practically had to sit on James's lap in order to fit in the carriage. "Good job mate, finally got the courage to ask Laura out again?" James smiled at the two of them, Laura sighed and rolled her eyes while Sirius completely ignored James.

"Laura we need to talk tonight deary," Lily smiled at her best friend, "And Laur, someone needs to tell me _everything_." She smiled brightly.

"Hey how do you all feel about this, being our final year in Hogwarts?" Edgar Bones asked but Lily didn't really seem to be listening, and still she was. The question already sat heavily in the back of her mind, _final year, final year_ was all she thought for a moment and then all of the things that came with that final year came to mind in forms of questions, thoughts, and dreaded fears. In the back of her mind she was re-playing the night of the ball in her mind, she especially thought of how Emily had acted and the coldness she had thrown her way.

"Lily, Hey its your turn babe, how do you feel about this being our last year at Hogwarts?" James asked encompassing his arm around her and pulling her closer into him.

"Oh well, its going to be interesting" Lily began and she forced a quick smile, "A little odd I think." She sighed inwardly what would happen between she and James? Was he the one? The question resonated in her mind all the way through dinner, getting ready for bed, and even throughout her dreams.


	24. Contemplations

**Chapter 23:** Contemplations

Lily walked into the potions lab the first day back from the Holiday break for yet another potions class taught by Harris Slughorn. The anxiety building inside of her like a tidal wave, she placed her bags down at her regular table and sighed running her hands through her hair and not caring what people thought.

"You look dashing when you are somewhat of a wreck." James breathed against her neck as she turned to meet him, she didn't know weather to take it as a compliment or as a complete diss. She decided to go with the compliment route. "I mean it Lily, you look dashing." He smiled and traced his hand up and down the exposed skin on her wrist.

"James not right now, I'm in not in the" she paused for a moment thinking of the word that would best describe her feeling, she could think of none that encompassed her whole anxious state. "Mood for compliments they'll just be more than a little painful—l" Lily sighed and ran her hand through her hair, James was staring at her his eyes flitting about her face, "Lets talk after class though. Meet me at the lake, during lunch. And don't worry, I can _tell_ your worried. I won't break up with you." She spoke reassuringly and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, Lily smiled at him, and when he complied with meeting her during lunch she felt herself relax. At least they could talk now, talk about what? Would he leave her then and there if she exposed her want to spend the rest of her life with him? Would it scar him?

The class went by like a snail in hardened glue each minute dragging on for what seemed like hours. At the end of Class Lily and Laura made their way to History of magic where Lily divulged her plan and then practiced lines on Laura. "James I love you, and I want to marry you." Lily bit her lip and peered at Laura from behind her history of magic textbook during the period before lunch. It felt like it had taken hours to get to this class, hours upon hours, when in turn it had taken only two hours of potions and about three minutes of climbing numerous moving stairs.

"Lily you don't want to scare the boy do you? All I'm saying is be calm, not too wordy, and not abrasive." Laura smiled, "Like if you were pregnant ask 'what do you think of children? And _having_ them, with say me?" Laura smiled as she finished her hypothetical sentence.

"But I'm not pregnant. Laura its not going to help that examples a bit _much_" Lily complained and sighed in dismay as she collected her books, Professor Binns had let them leave early because they had been the only two not to fall asleep in class and to finish all their work 'dorm-'work and class work. Then Lily furrowed her brow and looked at Laura with a little bit of confusion written about her face, "Explain." She spoke simply.

"Well, say 'Lets try' that'll spice things up a bit" Laura said and tried to Ignore Lily's simple statement of needing more information. Laura sighed under Lily's unbidden stare, "Lily All I'm saying is that wanting to father your children is 'hot', Sirius told me that." As Laura said this Lily's jaw dropped and she smiled to herself.

"Laura what do you mean by that? Are you--?" Lily's mouth was still a somewhat open in shock.

"Not yet, or at least I don't know. But we agreed to make an effort when school ends, and he told me that he wanted them or it—to have my last name." Laura blushed, "_If_ I were, you and Sirius would be the first to know." Laura nodded, "I'd probably ask you how to tell him." Laura smiled dreamily; she was probably imagining what her children with Sirius might look like.

"Good, I'd probably kill you if you didn't." Lily gave Laura a cheeky smile. Lily and Laura had made their way to the Library and were talking calmly about ways to talk to James and tell him Lily was fully and deeply in love with him.


	25. Making Good and Bad Memories

Chapter 24: Making Good and Bad Memories 

With a half hour to go before lunch Lily and Laura made their way to the dormitory and they began to prep even harder for what Lily would say and even do when she met James during Lunch. "Okay, I bought him this for a gift, a Memory Book—will you help me organize and label it?" Lily asked and smiled at Laura.

"Of course Lil," Laura said and smiled a stack of photos lay in each of their hands, Lily charmed her Quill to write Captions, Dates, Titles, and all the necessary things under each of the photographs. "Laura I'm nervous, what will James think of all this?" Lily asked and bit her lip looking up to her friend for much needed trust.

"Well, I don't know-but tell him you never want him to forget you and all will be fine—now go its lunch time—wait, take this" Laura said and handed Lily a box of mint and a small bit of magical food. Lily ran down to the common room while pulling on her winter cloak she bit her lip as she ran, she was momentarily held up by a group of first years scrambling into the common rooms. As she ran down the magical moving staircases making her way to the entrance hall; as she opened the large double doors and ran into the snowy outdoors she could see nothing but the blinding white snow. Just her luck she made it to the lake in time to feel as if her hear was wrenched out.

There at the lake was another girl in his arms, another girl who had red hair, Lily was not far off now, her bag of magical food and the mints fell to the ground with a light thump, she felt her world spinning out of control.

"So when were you going to tell me there was another me James?" The other girl cooed and looked at Lily.

"Emily." Lily spoke coldly her eyes went from her to James, "So were you the one who tried to kill me earlier this year?" Lily screamed at the other girl her eyes furious.

"Lily? I-I don't know" he looked at the other girl, at Emily.

"Wrong move Potter!" Lily yelled and turned to go back to the castle when she heard something or someone fall to the ground she turned her head to see James laying there, unconscious "James!" She yelled fear brimming over. She heard a scream of pain and didn't realize that she was the one screaming until she fell to the ground.

There was an audible gasp from James who had come too "Don't Touch her!" She heard him yell before she slipped into a blank state of mind, she felt a tug on her naval as someone placed something in her hand. She heard him running towards her but it was too late the portkey had worked she was gone. She felt herself begin to slip into a blank dark and dreary state of mind.

She felt the ground beneath her feet, heard voices excited voices, and then she heard a shrill high-pitched voice say something that sounded like "Put her in the dungeon."


	26. A Dark Captivity

Chapter 25: A Dark Captivity

Lily opened her eyes to find herself in a dark dank room that smelled of death and decay. She looked around and saw that James was nowhere to be found. A knot in her stomach and a sinking feeling bubbled forth and she bit her lip in fear. She looked around again, nervously, she could see light streaming in through a doorway. She heard something slither and felt a snail coil and uncoil about her feet. The door opened and Lily could hear hissing, then speaking. "Are you sure she is the one?" A high-pitched hissing voice asked.

"Yes Master, The Potter boy will come for her—and according to Snape she's a natural Potions Whiz—and is apparently _muggleborn_." The girl nearly hissed in distaste.

"Good work then my dear Emily," He laughed a rasping hiss of a laugh. Lily gulped.

"Who are you?" Lily screamed and tried to free herself, she could see him whoever he was look in at her—he with his snake like eyes.

"I my dear am Lord Voldemort." He hissed and walked forward to her. "I heard you were a powerful witch—and quite beauteous." He laughed darkly and walked to her, walking around her in a circle.

"You're the wizard who is having his own crusade and killing muggles and muggleborns." Lily spoke coldly and accusingly.

"You are her daughter indeed." He spoke ignoring her inquiry. "Don't worry my pet, we won't hurt you." He hissed and looked over to her, "You must have heard of me from that dear old Harold Potter, or his son. Harold was a good wizard in his prime—we were mortal enemies in school. And now I hold his son's love captive." He laughed darkly and lurched forward, that was when Lily saw the color of his eyes, red like blood, red like a Snake's eye. Lily felt a tear slide down her cheek.

"So is what my newest Death Eater Severus Snape tells me true? Are you quite powerful in Potions?" He asked and was now inches from her once more, he lifted his wand and lit the end, he moved his wand down her face and across her cheekbone leering as he did so.

"I-I don't know, I did mix the Felix Felicis Potion faster than—er another classmate Severus Snape." Lily felt another tear slip down her cheek as he moved his wand away. Severus was a death eater.

"Don't cry you'll never see your love again. Emily, watch her, I must go to the Malfoys for our gatherin. You will be alone, but I trust that you will be safe, what with your ability."

He spoke coldly and left with a pop.

"Don't worry, James will marry me." Emily laughed darkly as she changed form and made herself look like a bloodied up Lily.

"He'll know that you aren't me!" Lily yelled and tried to free herself, as she finished her senetence a door flew off of its hinges above them flooding them with light.

"We need to find her!" James's voice came through the dark room, the light hit the top of her head.

"James! I'm in here! Theres a snake in here, a-and Emily!" She yelled, "But she looks like me!" Lily struggled to free herself again.

"Lily!" Laura could be heard in the darkness, Lily saw Emily make herself look as if she were tied up. Emily didn't have the bracelet or necklace on, the bracelet or necklace that Lily never took off even now it was still on her.

"In here!" James' voice came again accompanied with far more light. "Lily!" He said as he came into the room.

"James!" Lily cried out to him and looked over to him tears now streaming down her face freely, Emily was doing the same.

"You know what, I'll be able to tell who is who." Laura said firmly and took a deliberate step forward. Lily heard her whisper something to James and Sirius, she turned and then held up the book, the memory book. "Only Lily will know what this is."

"Laura! What are you doing, its pointless!" Both James and Emily said in unison.

"I'm trying to figure out who is the real Lily. I'm her best mate! I'll be able to tell."

"Laura it's me, the necklace, the bracelet. I'm Lily. And that's the memory book you helped me organized I was planning on giving it to you James." She said the final bit and looked over to James.

"That's Lily then. If she's got the bracelet." Laura said and winked. Lily noticed and felt herself sigh. "Lily why do you have black roots?" Laura asked and walked forward, "And no bracelet or necklace. How are you Emily?" She asked and walked away from her Emily let out a defeated scream.

"Laura! James, its me…J-James Voldemort was here, Emily is a death eater and s-so is Snape!" Lily cried out and felt the tears pour down with more force than before. "And Voldemort let slip that he killed your father. He went to school with him and they were mortal enemies." Lily cried out, "He's planning to kill me, or make me join him!" Lily cried out once more. "I love you, I'm sorry we got like this! I'm sorry about your dad." Lily said as James ran over and began to untie her.

"She's not Lily!" Emily yelled her robes breaking.

"I don't think so!" Laura yelled and as she cast a spell to bind her so did Sirius.

"Laura lets me careful," Sirius said quickly and stood next to her. "Lets go! Now! Before they return!" Sirius yelled and he helped untie Lily soon they were on the Potter's doorway.

James knocked on the door and waited for a response. A very nervous and tired looking Elizabeth Potter opened the door. "James why are you here? What happened? Whats wrong? H-have you heard from Harry he's been gone all week."

As Lizzie said this Lily broke into tears, "I'm so sorry!" She cried out feeling the utter despair fill her in that moment.

"Sorry about—oh god no he's not?" She looked from Lily to James and back to Lily questioningly.

"He said they used to be mortal enemies. He basically said he enjoyed holding the girl his son loves captive…he laughed maniacally." Lily cried out, "V-Voldemort k-killed him!" Lily said finally tears pouring down her cheek.

"Oh god. He's back! James I'm so sorry we had to bring you into this, and Lily—oh god. Tom Marvolo Riddle used to basically run Hogwarts back in the day. He always used to fancy Marin and Myself, he used to tell us 'One Day you'll all bow to me, and the Wizard called Lord Voldemort.' He was heir of Slytherin and always wanted myself or Marin to go out with him." Lizzie said quickly. "He was a jealous type really and when your father and I started dating he swore that he would kill of all of the remaining Potters. Which was bad seeing your father was n only child." She sighed and then looked to Lily. "He told us before that if we followed him we would be like gods among wizards. He also liked Bellatrix Black, and her sisters he ended up siring Emily with one of the black girls." She led them to the living room and gave Lily a blanket to wrap herself in.

"When Harry and I married he said there was no turning back that he would Murder him and me as well as our kids for my treason against his whishes." Lizzie said and sobbed. "I didn't believe it at first but now he did kill Harry! When Marin married your father he said all the Evans would be on his 'list' because of her move." Lizzie said and sighed.

"I guess I escaped with my life" Lily gasped, "And Emily was his _daughter_?" Lily gasped.

"Well, she was heir to Slytherin now…but seeing she is dead Slytherin only has one remaining heir. But Lily, he wanted your mother to sire him an heir one that would be the most powerful of witches and wizards ever. One who was heir to both Gryffindor and Slytherin," Lizzie said quickly. "We chose the path that fights him off. Your mother and me, that is."

James looked over to Lily and wrapped his arms around her, "I'm glad you are who you are. Y-you wanted to talk to me earlier? How 'bout we talk in private?" He suggested and helped her to her feet holding her in his arms delicately.

Lily remembered the reason they were there in the first place and smiled at James. "Fine then," she nearly whispered as they took a seat on the edge of his bed. "James, before all of this I wanted to come and give you the book, the memory book." Lily sighed "I'm glad you saved my life though, very glad." Lily sighed and felt herself begin to cry. "But how could you fall for the same trap twice? The whole shape-shifting Emily thing?" James sighed and took a seat next to her.

"Well she acted like you. I'm sorry I just wasn't thinking." James gave her a kiss on the forehead.

"Yeah but that's not the point—I wanted to give you this." Lily handed him the book and looked up at his face for a reaction, it said 'Love Always, Lily' on the front inside cover and he was reading her message to him.

"Lily," He smiled looking up at her and meeting her gaze. "I love you. More than you know! I love you so much I could just marry you!" He paused and Lily's jaw dropped.

"Was that you Proposing?" Lily asked and still smiled at him.

"Well—yes its just this past month, when we all took off from school to find you, I realized that I could never love anyone else. That you were the only one for me." James said and looked over at her, "Oh and Lily, Happy Valentines day."

In a daze the two of them walked into the other room, Lily with a dazzling ring on her finger and James with a book in hand. Lily heard a few gasps of surprise around the room.

"Oh my goodness! Are you Serious? Sirius look at her hand! Lily I have to say _finally_" Laura squealed and Sirius laughed.

"Good loch mate." Sirius smiled. "So this summer it is then, eh?" Sirius asked and Lily and James nodded standing there their fingers entwined, nothing but sheer bliss at the fact that they had finally settled their differences and agreed to marry.


End file.
